started with a year older brother who wanted to be the only one
throwing shoes and boots at me in my crib
to being forced to wear braces for a club foot, refused to walk
to my parents giving away all of my dog's puppies, Not Sugar, Mom, no!
to playing alone with my big wheel and my dog outside
to going barefoot, and constantly stubbing my toe
to teaching myself to ride a bike after many fails
to walking to school thru the back alley with all the teenagers there smoking and harassing
to my parents going out and Sherry Heinz had a big party at our house and a guy locked me in the closet
to eating a whole bottle of baby aspirin like candy, and my mom taking me in to throw up
to living in Texas in a nice house and being introduced to favorite black girl in the neighborhood and the Baptist faith
to coming back home and living on the farm with my mom's mother, on the bus, Where do you live? grandma McGarry's house
to moving into a shack with mice and very little heat, and my brother scared of the dark, and wanted to sleep in my bed and I made him sleep on the very bottom of the bed
to moving yet again where my father would beat on my mother, and the snow storms were records
my mother buying my brother a football helmet for Christmas, and she bought me one too
playing school in the walk in closet and sharing a bed with my mother
to my step dad coming into our lives and them sleeping on the living room floor
moving yet again and being best friends with the neighbor girl in the duplex
swimming day and night, and playing all kinds of games outside
moving yet again, this time into a house and I had my whole basement
being a cheerleader for St. Joe's and my mom driving us girls to the games
bullying and ending life in that school
to, Why are you here? What happened over there? I just wanted to
to getting real close with Linda Guise, my new best friend
to spending the summer with my dad, barely any food, and they told me I looked like a model
to playing sports, cheer leading, and in love with Mike LaCourse
to thinking I'm going into the Air Force, and they told me I was overweight, but I am, Mom
decided to go into college and the first 3 months smoking pot with all the guys
went into a sorority and did lots of works to get new members, was the Spirit Chair
met Dave, my kids dad on the street when he was walking by, never left him
working at various jobs, but dropped out of school and we moved to Kansas City
couldn't make it, barely surviving and got pregnant
moved back home, and worked two part time jobs to save money
my parents said, You've got live by our rules and I couldn't wait to get out of there
went on welfare and gave birth on a rainy storming early morning in September
I think baby A has Down syndrome
came back to my apartment with my babies and Dave was soon gone
Mom, something's wrong with Beth and she was diagnosed CF at 7 and half months
managed to pay off my student account and signed up again to go back and finish
moved us into a small little shack that flooded often in Iowa city
danced every day
Finished my degree
moved back home to brand new apartments
looked desperately for jobs and there was not much
continued dancing and running and working out
got two jobs I worked around my kids schedule since they were in everything
was my daughter's Girl Scouts Leader for 4 years
found Satellite Surveillance and Human Experimentation
Started to develop forced speech upon waking every morning and running dialogue of my thoughts and actions that day
went on medication
running races and working all the time and reading with Beth
bought a house 3 doors down in a cul de sac best year of my life
then the worst year the next with strong electronic torture targeting
raising my kids and having so many in depth conversations with Beth
I read so many novels
we get Deoge our lifelong dog
came into some money and published my first book of poems about targeting and schizophrenia
doing so many events with my kids all entertainment
I keep writing and developing and I keep volunteering at so many places
I turn over a whole new leaf and start working out every day and eating healthy
I'm bullied out of a good job over mental illness
Beth earns her college degree then she gets married
I meet Phil and he moves in right away we have a toxic love that lasts
I spend most of my days online drinking beer and smoking cigarettes
and that's where it's at.
throwing shoes and boots at me in my crib
to being forced to wear braces for a club foot, refused to walk
to my parents giving away all of my dog's puppies, Not Sugar, Mom, no!
to playing alone with my big wheel and my dog outside
to going barefoot, and constantly stubbing my toe
to teaching myself to ride a bike after many fails
to walking to school thru the back alley with all the teenagers there smoking and harassing
to my parents going out and Sherry Heinz had a big party at our house and a guy locked me in the closet
to eating a whole bottle of baby aspirin like candy, and my mom taking me in to throw up
to living in Texas in a nice house and being introduced to favorite black girl in the neighborhood and the Baptist faith
to coming back home and living on the farm with my mom's mother, on the bus, Where do you live? grandma McGarry's house
to moving into a shack with mice and very little heat, and my brother scared of the dark, and wanted to sleep in my bed and I made him sleep on the very bottom of the bed
to moving yet again where my father would beat on my mother, and the snow storms were records
my mother buying my brother a football helmet for Christmas, and she bought me one too
playing school in the walk in closet and sharing a bed with my mother
to my step dad coming into our lives and them sleeping on the living room floor
moving yet again and being best friends with the neighbor girl in the duplex
swimming day and night, and playing all kinds of games outside
moving yet again, this time into a house and I had my whole basement
being a cheerleader for St. Joe's and my mom driving us girls to the games
bullying and ending life in that school
to, Why are you here? What happened over there? I just wanted to
to getting real close with Linda Guise, my new best friend
to spending the summer with my dad, barely any food, and they told me I looked like a model
to playing sports, cheer leading, and in love with Mike LaCourse
to thinking I'm going into the Air Force, and they told me I was overweight, but I am, Mom
decided to go into college and the first 3 months smoking pot with all the guys
went into a sorority and did lots of works to get new members, was the Spirit Chair
met Dave, my kids dad on the street when he was walking by, never left him
working at various jobs, but dropped out of school and we moved to Kansas City
couldn't make it, barely surviving and got pregnant
moved back home, and worked two part time jobs to save money
my parents said, You've got live by our rules and I couldn't wait to get out of there
went on welfare and gave birth on a rainy storming early morning in September
I think baby A has Down syndrome
came back to my apartment with my babies and Dave was soon gone
Mom, something's wrong with Beth and she was diagnosed CF at 7 and half months
managed to pay off my student account and signed up again to go back and finish
moved us into a small little shack that flooded often in Iowa city
danced every day
Finished my degree
moved back home to brand new apartments
looked desperately for jobs and there was not much
continued dancing and running and working out
got two jobs I worked around my kids schedule since they were in everything
was my daughter's Girl Scouts Leader for 4 years
found Satellite Surveillance and Human Experimentation
Started to develop forced speech upon waking every morning and running dialogue of my thoughts and actions that day
went on medication
running races and working all the time and reading with Beth
bought a house 3 doors down in a cul de sac best year of my life
then the worst year the next with strong electronic torture targeting
raising my kids and having so many in depth conversations with Beth
I read so many novels
we get Deoge our lifelong dog
came into some money and published my first book of poems about targeting and schizophrenia
doing so many events with my kids all entertainment
I keep writing and developing and I keep volunteering at so many places
I turn over a whole new leaf and start working out every day and eating healthy
I'm bullied out of a good job over mental illness
Beth earns her college degree then she gets married
I meet Phil and he moves in right away we have a toxic love that lasts
I spend most of my days online drinking beer and smoking cigarettes
and that's where it's at.
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