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Showing posts from April, 2018

totally true..

yes sirreee.

yep

Yes!

I painted this while I was being electronically tortured. it can't land.

definitely..

Writing Fiction (a brief essay by Sheri)

One thing that I don't very much of in my short stories is elaborate on the setting.  In Margaret Atwood's fiction, she can write a whole page of description, but one thing that can happen is the reader's imagination is then fixed, and not creating what they think it is like.  I'm a big fan of hers, but it can get frustrating, and I think to myself, Just get to the story, already! One of the luxuries about writing fiction is you can recreate your own personal experiences or keep them the way they actually happened, you can put a little bit of yourself into each character in ways you can grow into or out of, a real way of healing.  A lot of times, just by reading lots of fiction, you can develop what feelings you had, good or bad, and use that in your own writing. In some of my longer fiction, I did create an outline, and I stuck to it pretty well.  Other times, I would brainstorm certain new ideas for writing, typing out the What?  Where?  How? and keeping this

Look at how nice our deck looks now after Phil power washed it..I think he wants to get stain next.

When my office reps on the phone have told me MK ultra ended a long time ago, I recall telling them we're in MK ultra II, and it's much more sophisticated and sinister since so many facets of our society are involved. I appreciate that they knew about the history of human experimentation, but we deal with that in past terms, when what's happening to us now has been an open book, and a not closed one.

First Shapes series poem: Circle

Circle There's a coffee ring on the map right around, Lincoln, Nebraska large lense held up to the eye makes the globe spin like poker chips maybe a crescent moon tonight we can hang our dreams from there's a baseball game in the stitched seconds it takes to throw your cares away O drop the jaw for a song in the sunrise we sang in our youth round and round when the night was records and the moon was a zero out of time

yep..

Veggie Tales I did for my son..

Best kids in the world..

yes..Phil,

yep..

ah huh, well, if you truly are schizophrenic, you can go through a year, or more having the best year of your life, even then, intermittent experiences of prodromal symptoms, but you think your'e well enough to go off of meds, then Bam! you're knocked on your ass. spirituality doesn't work for me, since I've had delusions I fought that I should die a martyr's death, and it all leads to heavenly rescue, when in fact, it's science, and physical phenomenon.

List of Things To Do (all in one day by Sheri)

Create reality Loop the hours Draw circumstances Paint the sky Weave happiness Dream balloons Dine in the nude Write the taste Perform pace Set multi standards Free the soul Light the language Talk to strangeness String peace Speak internal Soak in silence Perfect the moment Dance with brooms Clean the care Stain the next step Drive to boundaries Dive over boundaries Dove the heaven in your eyes Cream love Greet repression Hear the tallness Laugh the openness Cry songs Languish in fresh air

CAPS (a brief poem)

CAPS All through the silence there is shouting deep inside the dark brain held like a rock the letters calling all attention from the stillness the instance of an angry cat caught in moon light the ringing of words in a clang going out beyond the hills a message meant to convey the distance set up like purpose all the CAPS are crowding out the crowd and bringing urgency to the receiver so much so that you can't read anything small happening on the fields such bold and bitter take on language we use in the typed up and locked key to conversing. -s.m.g.

A Few Words about My Blog (an essay by Sheri)

When I produce something creative, it goes on my files first, then onto my blog, then onto Google Plus, then a link to my blog on Twitter, then a post on Facebook that there's new content on my blog, and sometimes an email in my circle. I have gained readership by 50 percent by doing these things. Many times I may have heard, you don't write for an audience, but since I started blogging, and creating an online presence, the motivation to keep creating content, keep it interesting, make it worthwhile for both me and the reader, has pushed me and made things I've come to be known for. Much of my blog is posts on something done wrong, some major or minor offense that needs to be said, though never settled, just throwing light on it.  I like to also keep the blog inspiring, and bringing more writers my way.  It's always free, what I am writing on my blog, though I'm also happy I made ebooks out of a lot of my works, and possibly, if the surveillance and tar

it's good to be an earthling..

Janet Murray Murray was a near hysterical woman based upon unseen reasons to be targeted, and had no basis to go on. She should have been helped with psychiatry. But the whole community of targeting is to call it poison, and more mind control. I see some people claiming she was loved upon all others, where's your love people, you just encouraged her to self destruct. RIP, I tried to redirect. And got unfriended.

Zelda was getting spa-like treatments, physical fitness, good foods, an all natural therapy while in an institution. It wasn't cheap, and Scott Fitzgerald had to keep producing short stories that would pay for her care. Too often the current times have left the mentally ill without the place for recovery, by closing every site, and forcing us to be put in a regular hospital that cannot address our needs.

I just attended the Quad Cities Big Table!

Juvenile crime was a topic, and also solved by being a mentor in your neighborhood, which I've done when I lived in low income housing here in DeWitt, but I also suggested let them take them take initiative too, our young people, not sure they agreed, called them, Just kids. Homelessness was an issue, renovating old buildings and getting people off the streets. I brought up always looking for Personal Enrichment classes, and the solution was, even if it's 60 Plus for Seniors, you can still go. The other suggestion was have a fair like setting with all kinds of hands on booths to learn, explore and grow.  Almost everyone in the room is or has been a volunteer. It was enjoyable. I tried not to get too paranoid with the News Anchor running the table.

so fucked up

please call on my behalf: 563-241-0403 ridiculous, my son with a disability gets Medicaid, she's saying I have to be working somewhere to get it. I'm trying to stay out of the hospital, and need my meds. If they're not covered, I'm going through the roof

Hey, Quad Cities! What'd ya think?

Davenport Music lights the street. It shines like souls. Flowers hang rumors. They make love. Art plays guitar. It's a one man show. Libraries close shadows. They are ink spills. Runners lace the walks. There's a trip in the sun. Cultures zip over corners. The Adler is home. The Col is on vacation. And the river is passing secrets.

ok!

yes...

Julio, My Imaginary Friend (a brief essay by Sheri)

Julio has grown now, and this is very close to what he looks like: He's had a difficult life living on streets after his parents were killed in a boating accident, and then he got in with the wrong crowd, all sex and drugs and violence.  I made sure he was being mentioned when I knew that so many were latching onto me during my own grave distress. After seeing his struggle, the United States media took up his case, in which he was given money and guidance, and he was placed with a friend of a the family, a woman who had no kids, and sold fine crafts every Saturday morning to those who would make the commute on their way to the latest ball game.  The picture above is very similar to the school that Julio was able to attend.  And he did graduate.  With honors. This is what looks like the block where Julio currently lives.  He works for a non profit for displaced and homeless youths, coaches futbol to the grade school kids, and attends Mass every Sunday.  Julio has also f

War!

war on women. war on public access. war on helicopter parents. war on mental illness crisis. war on Muslims, Paki's, and Latinos. war on stem cells. war on debt. war on Unions. war on food. war on water. war on skies. war on regulations. war on every abuse of animals. war on war with foreign countries. war on accepting mega monopoly. war on those who show peace. war on those who determine the brain studies. war on those sleeping in the streets. war on those who hate establishment. war, war. war on the left out, the disadvantaged, the marginalized and disabled.

My response...

The great thing Obamacare has done is to force employers to offer health insurance for their employees, that's one reason why Republicans hate it, big business is no business when you gotta shell out. So what ended up happening is that more and more people were getting insured (thank God!) and the private market couldn't handle the work load.  Do you want to blame that on the poor?  The costs may have increased. We see in the state of Iowa privitalization of Medicaid, and the best method to getting services is to go with the lesser known, least popular insurerer, since, again, too many to cover. Well, what do you want, people who will milk the system with their sudden illness, or those on the books?

ah huh

Dear Ms. Grutz, Thank you for taking the time to contact me about health care reform. It is important for me to receive direct input from folks in Iowa on policy matters such as this, especially when these issues affect people on such a personal level.  Since joining the U.S. Senate, I have had the opportunity to complete three 99 county tours, and have begun my fourth. Throughout my travels across the state, I have participated in roundtables with our local small businesses, toured manufacturing and agricultural operations, visited hospitals, schools, and more. In these meetings, I have heard countless stories from our neighbors from all parts of the state about how they are personally struggling under the Affordable Care Act (ACA), with their premiums and other out-of-pocket costs increasing year-to-year and their choice of health insurance options dwindling. Since last fall, more and more Iowans have shared with me the hardships they are enduring due to the cost of their he

Listen to this

Strange guy comes knocking on my door this morning, and I talk to him through my closed locked front door, he says he's here to take Alec to an appointment, so I open the door, and see he's a van that says Care Link, and I tell him Alec doesn't live here anymore, and what appointment? He says, somewhere on Industrial Park. I tell him, oh, you're taking him to work. He is wearing sandals with no socks, and we've got snow on the ground. He's wearing a black ball cap with insignia on it. I tell him my parents address, thinking my son is waiting for a ride. He doesn't get it right, keeps wanting to know, then says, He probably won't get a ride today. I tell him sorry for the confusion.  He leaves. I call my mom and tell her what happened, I told her I probably wouldn't have let Alec get on the van anyway. and she said she'd call Robin at DAC. Robin says to my mom that she has never heard of Care Link, and they never set this

thank activists that pushed hard to keep Obamacare for conditions such as schizophrenia and cystic fibrosis. The myths surrounding the health plan are that all premiums go up for the middle class but the middle class are insuring 2 adults, and 2 to 3 college kids, or school age kids, truth is my brother as a single adult got health insurance through his employer for 100 dollars a month. it didn't go up because of Obamacare. Another myth is that the well off are paying for the poor. The more people that sign up are paying into a program that virtually pays for itself. Look at the one insurance company that pulled out of Obamacare, and the next week bought up another insurance company for billions. The greedy bastards were getting heat from other subscribers that felt they were being affected. all lies. And savings in the end. End the program, no savings to anyone, and so many without health insurance. The worst thing they did in the tax overhaul bill is take out the mandate that you must sign up, or be pentalized. That money from a fine was going into the program to help those who need it, when in fact, those who took the penalty, will need it eventually, so they basically shot themselves in the foot, and the government said, Yep, we're on your side. What side is that? Republicans.

joined a new schizophrenia site on Facebook.

Things I regret

working in the behavioral disorder school, and not seeing the problems, calling them all normal, and then being called a c=unt and f=cuking b=itch and taking it without saying: Who in the hell do you think you are, you’re not treating me like this, like every other woman in this room. Realizing my daughter was scared to swallow pills at age 9, and instead grounding her. That I didn’t let the boy who fought with my daughter come over to her birthday party, even with a gift, ugly Sheri, totally ugly.

Kansas City (next Cities poem)

Kansas City Every home is a cottage in the thick forest in the brain dripping with emotion the hard wood is also at your feet nothing you do is right until you see the light through the trees can slice this afternoon into pieces of your life poems then the puzzle of putting a direction together walking away with nothing but unfit language that would explain things in pictures and the red car bouncing like a ball hauls who will be out til grunge is an end all.

Be careful, she's read books, Pushkin, the father of all Russian literature, his wife a hussy, doing everything on the court, one guy, Pushkin says, We will dual. It was nearly outlawed. It's dead of winter, and the men are dressed well, Pushkin fires first, but the bullet hits the military man's button, and bounces off. The man quickly fires and hits Pushkin in the abdomen. He dies a terrible death 3 days later, so young. His wife goes on to remarry, and have kids, and remains a devoted wife and mother. Lesson learned.

Spring and summer bird bath

Des Moines (next in the Cities poems series)

Des Moines Every hotel room turned over a hand-meant stay deep in the pocket of what gives to feel tight, small, singular in the feel of one room zoom without escape. And the highways are a zipper on the cuff of your jeans and the stores are giving more promise of dead weight, find a bar you love and float more often through the afternoon than a sun or a cloud with a cold grip of certain staying. Make due in an apartment they let you be like any statue or tribute to a piece of the landscape that carved you in. Drive downtown to the sound of your own drum, and feel the song of life start to chime 29 times for this ship.

Things that have changed in my diet

I no longer drink pop I no longer eat Cheetos I no longer eat very much bread I no longer drink Any milk I no longer eat very much ice cream I no longer eat very many everything bagels I no longer drink juice (unless it's tomato juice, or lemon juice) I no longer put sugar in my coffee, just black I no longer eat very much bacon I no longer chew gum

so true..

this is me just now. I'm getting older, now 48. I look better with makeup on.

Orlando (next Cities poem)

Orlando The air has no holes, it has nothing to give, boxed in like a package of months undelivered the air is a dead siren fading green grass from palms At night the city lives on open walls and ceilings, and the air is a curtain for a show of cars, and characters, and moving anything for the spirit, alive and beating the next punch for the best of lights and life By day, the city is gated communities or additions when you try to keep out the past, and yet raise the dead such a one as this, a luxury to being free, every flight dotted with pools, and Piggly Wiggly, and those lights, that air, sweet as after a shower, and putting on appearances.

Why God Exists (a brief essay)

When you stop and think that we are what stars are made of, that we are from Earth and walking on Earth we are in the sky, you see there is a passage there for fictional space we want to explore and reach.  So really, the human mind does not tire from curiosity over the laid out heavens in our dreams or pleasure sought moments of being satisfied.  We know that all of our senses are one.  They are working at the same time, and give the body it's knowledge that we react, just as any system reacts, and any part of our external lives, such as, government, schools, people in general, they all form this kind of Oneness of what the human body does.  So, really all physical universe is based upon an individual, and in the larger context, there is a mimicking of that singular repose in everything we experience. The relation to Jesus Christ for us at Christmas is that every creature on Earth starts as a baby.  We get to see in our own lives just how important it is to have a beginning an

defintely

clandestine groups of infiltrators have taken over our government and caused countless number of people to be on a Suspect Target list, and there doesn't have to be a reason, and what they will do is put you under 24 hour surveillance, getting you from the head, the brain, all mind control meddling and then testing you on weapon capacity at any time, nothing short of torture, and the program you're in punishes and rewards you in ways of Pavlov dog, crippling the mind and body to make amends to these responses. It's very Orwellian.

what you start to get Phil, is privatized Medicaid from Republicans like ours, who will say, You're with us in a pool of too many, and we're not making money to buy the next greatest asset for us, so we're gonna start cutting services for the poor and disabled, we're gonna determine what you actually need, we're gonna put you so low that you must cut food budget, or rent budget, same with privatizing social security. Why do you think so many seniors go with Democrats? But hey, thanks for the tax cuts, Trump.

Targeting For Dummies (a very brief essay)

If you've ever seen Manchurian Candidate, you might understand the political/industrial/military/intelligence agencies/researchers/scientists/mass media that are involved in certain government programs starting even before MK Ultra, and leading to massive surveillance that can pinpoint one person by the head, by the brain, and the system of using the mind, after trauma or torture with weapons, to break it then reprogram what the intended effect will be, then studying it for years, as the Target is accused of all kinds of wrongdoing, or even comes to be known as The Media, or A Foreign Spy.  In Monarch programming the Suspect Target becomes a sex slave, giving up all data and communications, and the other end of the surveillance is actual streaming through the eyes of the Target.  There is, as of this date, no way to get out of it, and the human rights, civil rights, and constitutional rights are lost in this puppet game.

Phil's Boat (a brief poem)

Phil's Boat, by Sheri There is a thrill of going forward, quick or slow, but moving across depths we find the right current against the hour we find the right balance and breeze against the warm skin of a destined dream brought to life in the making of open where a thousand doors aren't closed

drawing I just did, it's hard to see it though, it's just colored pencils on cardboard.

How To....an essay by Sheri

How To...be a friend:  my daughter taught me this well, at a very young age, if you want more friends, you got to BE a friend. How To....read a book:  preferrably the author you are reading organized his or her novel into plenty of chapters, and you can tell yourself, I'm going to read 2 chapters then go to bed.  Afternoons on a sunny day are great times to read books, or if you are waiting for something like car service to get done, great time to read. How To....be a poet:  I learned in college that if you want to be a poet, you've got to read more poetry, and get a real feel for how to expand your language.  Typically today, poets are the ones reading other poets, but that's okay because we're cut from a different cloth. How To....eat by yourself:  most likely if you are out in a restaurant by yourself, you will eat more slowly, and acknowledge more people around you.  You will want great conversation with your waiter or waitress, including where all their food

ah huh!

thanks, Trump.

he's a total Repub..

Our Deoge..

well you knew I'd have a response, right?

When you see the Republican agenda from the eyes of the poor, disabled, disadvantaged, you realize that major legislation is done to cripple that person, reward the ones with good jobs, and the well off, and the businesses that we patronized every day.  Republicans might think they can get away with cutting taxes and then start cutting spending, and look where that gets us? There is a general belief that only people paying all the taxes are hard working, and that gets real sickening, since the low scale jobs are all they can create, then people can't afford to live, and we get a recession, we get homelessness that started with Reagan's policies in the 80's. I'll tell ya what, all those constitunents you speak to, tell them to stop eating out, stop buying 30K dollar trucks, and stop draining all resources by their use.  But what, we wouldn't want to be considered environmentalists?  this state of Iowa is so fucked up.

The United States has fast become an autocratic nation, divided by politics and race and gender, and most of the homeless situation has been started by policies under Reagan in the 80’s, and most Repubs crying out for ways to keep wealth in a small number of hands. I can’t complain today since my man has a good union job, no thanks to Paul Ryan, and I’ve achieved what I could through my own doing as a home owner. You get people without opportunities, yeah, you get drugs, gangs, violence, and you get molehills on bullying everywhere you go into mountains. I’d like to do more for BLM movement, but I struggle with my own injustice.

hahaha, and I'm the delusional one

  David Young         Congressman         3rd District, Iowa                                                 April 3, 2018 Dear Ms. Grutz, Thank you for contacting me with your thoughts about efforts to simplify the tax code and provide tax relief to Iowans. It’s good to hear from you on this important issue. On December 20, 2017, I voted for the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act to provide tax relief to the hardworking Iowa taxpayers throughout the Third District who sent me to Washington to work for them. On December 22, 2017, President Trump signed the bill into law. As I have traveled throughout the District I have heard from too many folks who are living paycheck to paycheck, some working more than one job, and struggling to get by. My goal has always been to focus tax relief on middle income Iowans and those working hard and striving to climb the economic ladder who deserve it the most.  My vote came on the heels of an  assessment  by the nonpartisan Congressional Joint Co