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Showing posts from April, 2021

I'm going to start limiting my time in the car with Phil. yesterday I felt like jumping out of the moving car.

 it could be seen as an adventure, but rarely is it. I needed him to drive so I told hold and pet Deoge, she does not like a car ride. First he's happy to have a lisence, and now, well, now. idk, Phil, I think you forget that I have a Daddy. my dad told me last night he wants to kick his ass. If I wasn't such a poet, I'd probably do it myself.

"We only serve Bud Light." What the heck, you're a Mexican restaurant, I'll take a Dos Exiois.

 Your man, Sheri.  he's in his element when he's going against you on everything you say. Sanchos of Davenport, Iowa is worse than Rudy's Tacos.  I just wasted 23 bucks, Phil, and all your bitching.  Did you scream, Sheri, And you get Free Sex!  ha, yeah I did.  would have done well in Hollywood, not so well in these Davenport, Iowa whatever.

on a scale of 1 to 10

 Clinton, Iowa psych services:  5 Davenport, Iowa psych services:  5 Iowa City, Iowa psych services:  5 ER services in Davenport, Iowa:  2 ER services in DeWitt, Iowa:  7 ER services in Iowa City, Iowa:  5 therapy in Clinton, Iowa:  1 therapy in Davenport, Iowa:  3 dance in Iowa City, Iowa:  9 writing in Iowa City, Iowa:  5 writing in Rock Island, Illinois:  6 cost of living in DeWitt, Iowa: 3 non-profits of the Quad Cities:  3 Ho  meless shelters of Clinton, Iowa: 2 churches in DeWitt, Iowa:  1 churches in Clinton, Iowa:  3 adult programs in DeWitt, Iowa:  1 quality of life in the Quad Cities:  7 driving in Davenport, Iowa:  6 driving in DeWitt, Iowa:  4 car dealers in DeWitt, Iowa:  2 banks in DeWitt, Iowa:  3 good teachers in DeWitt, Iowa:  3 cops in DeWitt, Iowa:  6 cops in Davenport, Iowa: 3 jobs in Davenport, Iowa:  8 jobs in DeWitt, Iowa:  1 libraries in the Quad Cities:  9 library in DeWitt, Iowa:  2 Man of the Year in DeWitt, Iowa:  1 Man of the Year in the Quad Cities:  9

ok, employers

 everybody needs to go back to doing drug screening professionally in a lab, and not in the office. Like I'd be doing ampheamines or PCP.  you gotta be kidding me. and nobody wants to believe the schizo.  in the labs, I've never in my whole life failed a drug screen.

you gotta be kidding me.

 Employer calls me and says Amphitamines are in my drug test. I did pot occasionally, 2 months, when I was 18.  nothing ever since.  nothing! it's just recently, cuz I've been on psych meds since I was 27, and never anything. Now the big runaround, we can't hire you until you're cleared of this. How many beers you got in the fridge, Sheri?  they don't even believe me, trained to, that I've never done drugs.  I don't even know the first thing about 'em.

yeah.

it's electromagnetic war that wasn't protected in this country. I was nearly killed, no other war could have done this.

a repeated truth

they tried getting paid off of it, when I tuned in, caught in my surveillance, but FISA changed the rules. They'd say their call letters and frequency into my ear when I called in.

you gotta be fucking kidding me.

I'm backing out real slow out of the driveway, down to the landing, and some other bitch comes barreling around, around me, like she wouldn't stop or something, almost hit her. I think it's a vistor of the neighbors across the way. I went over there afterward, and rang the doorbell, then knocked, nobody answered. Sheri? Sheri. this is typical no respect! it's all based on hatred.

where were we?

the adults doing the adult things, and kids doing their things. It got late, and I crashed. and my dad carrying me to the car. yeah. where was Ronnie? no idea.

Interesting

in the talk this morning with a gym owner on the radio they both said other people in the gym motivate you to work harder. I have never felt that way in all my years working out.

I think they did the right thing

I think the clincher was when the chief of police said it's just not something we do as officers, at least I thought it was the chief of police, but I only saw bits and pieces of that trial, I remember that part though. Phil says he wouldn't nark out his own officer, but yes he did.

so, a bit more, and trying not to contradict myself

my friend Jim said, but Vonnegut, he DID win. Right, and it really bothers me when they achieve success and then turn around and say it doesn't matter. also, what the quote tells me, about not needing to good at what you do, makes me think, mediocrity. well, Jason gave me all the reasons why Social Democracy is better, and I did support Bernie, but not on everything he said. I've been saying for years that Capitalism is the best place to be an artist. Mainly because of ideas.

Got an opportunity

cleaning nights, hopefully in Eldridge. she said to wait til a doctor clears me. I'd be back in my groove. Said there's plenty of positions, and they'll wait on me. I'd love to give up the sauce again, go back to ice cream after work. yep. we'll see.

I don't get it

Ryan posted something that Kurt Vonnegut was told that you don't have to be good at any of those artistic pursuits just as long as you do them, you don't have to "Win." wow. I'm starting to question Social Democracy.

"You look so pretty, Beth." brand new sky blue dress with matching sandals. aunt Karol's wedding.

mine was something from Goodwill, a nice dress though. asked her if it's too low cut. Saw cousin Brooke there....I guess it wasn't too low cut. How thin were you two. thin. the Des Moines kids radio station. Then taking her to camp. during W. what were the headlines. something, but blew it off. it was before everything.

so, I must have been reported

when I told these keyboard warriors calling me names, "Why don't you come to DeWitt, Iowa and say that to my face, you coward!"  I think I've said it like 3 or 4 times, and it's one reason they're giving why I'm in jail, ha. worth it.

ah huh.

  obviously Facebook's computer automated alerts are not even being checked. you start to think everything is run by super computers everywhere. there was a time I didn't even want a computer. my dad bought it for me. it stayed in the box from between 3 to 6 months. I didn't know how to use it. then kept calling into Dell, until one woman made it clear she knew how I was and didn't want to talk to me.

Deoge...

she's one of the only dog's I've seen at the dog park who doesn't bark at other dogs in there. she just blows it off, and does her own thing.  nothing is going to ruin her park time. ahhhh, the slow decline.  She's still got it in her though. 

you get the feeling they sit in those cubicals

 he says, years ago when it was still good, I've never been on LinkedIn. I say, yeah, I'm on all the time. He says, LinkedIn shouldn't be like Facebook. I say, Who told you that?  You said you've never been on there, I wouldn't want to be with the women in your office. he says, You don't think I have my own opinions. Ummm, I wanted to say orginality is hard to come by.  Maybe he was nothing Sheri.  He never let you in.  What dd you really know about the guy.

ok, can I just say, it not because I'm rude

I only interrupt what you're saying cuz a thought just popped into my head, and if I don't share, I'll forget it.  I got short memory loss going on.  long term seems okay. I'll explain the Missionary guys next time.  my head has been thru quite a lot. ummm, the new kid has no personality.  Evan, though, said he likes classic rock. wow.  well, hell yeah, not trying to detract, but you gotta live.  Phil bought them Pepsi.  they said they could have a pop sometimes.  we always give them a 20 too. 

No, Jason, philosphers think too much

 he says depressives need it. huh? You can't live by it. I could get the same out of psalms. difference of believing in a God, or being a god. remember Chadwick, on Facebook? you were nice to him, and supported him. until he told you you deserved targeting. I asked him, what, why are we friends. he unfriended. he wanted the kind that abuse him. I thought we were in the same boat, until he turned on me.

do you want me to talk about politics

gun control laws. ok, everybody knows that laws don't work. just look at how many are in prison.  And where are you going to put these people who offend. Build new prisons, so politicians can get richer? let's start with decent day cares, and loving mothers at home. putting at risk kids/families in nice homes. well.  just a thought. 

so Deoge is coughing and whezzing, frequently, and Phil took her to her annual vet appointment the other day while I was at work

 I wrote everything down a slip of paper, all the concerns, forgot the aging eyes, but there's many other issues too, gave it to Phil and he comes home with high blood pressure pills for her. it's probably from feeding her bites of people food. and this is why she's hacking? Phil, I paid $160 for that visit, and you came home with no answers, and nothing on her eyes. We're both smoking in the house, it's why I bought an air purifier, for her. I'm calling them tomorrow, and I'm not going in, I want a phone consultation.  Plus I can barely walk right now.

And then...

 he gets a little bit of money, and goes all the way to Aldi's when gas is high now and spend 80 bucks, saying it was a bargain, coming home with steaks, ribs, and a whole chicken, saying, Well, we gotta eat..  do we?  cuz I don't eat much.   I can make a cheap casserole last 4 days,   and we are so behind on our house payments. ah huh.  His mother was right, all men care about is their pecker and their belly.

so the fense opening, or door or whatever is broken from derecho

 and Deoge can't go out into the yard, because it's stuck wide open and she will get out and walk down the sidewalk over to Pheasant Run crossing a street, and she has no concept of cars, thinks the tires are just play things, and Phil says he can't fix it.  Phil fixed the bad piping under the sink, and he does a lot around here, but my new ceiling fan is still in the box because he says it takes a ladder and two people to put it up. it's coming up on summer, Deoge needs the yard, it's terrible to ask her to go potty and poopy on the deck, with no snow out there. If you can't do it, Phil, then let's get somebody over here who can! I swear to God I've got to expediate everything.  huhhhh. I was the one who made the call for him to be able to get an Iowa Driver's License  but for selfish reasons, I was tired of driving him all over the place, felt that way when my daughter got hers. Phil didn't even know he could get a license, well, I found out, y

barely slept last night

 every time I rolled over, writhing in pain, the other knee, the sprained one. I'm taking too much ibuprofen too, gotta watch it. Phil says he's never experienced when you are about ready to fall asleep the final moment, your body jumps, that's why they call it falling asleep, anyway, at that moment last night, my left heel jammed into my stiches. Gawd! There is no way I'll be able to go to work tomorrow, a sprain takes awhile to heal.  I've had many as an athelete.

when my kids were young

 I let them stay up til 10 o'clock or a little later cuz I wanted to be with them, plus they were in activities almost every night that I took them to.  Beth and I needed to read together, plus both of them needed to bathe before bed.  well, they didn't seem tired that late at night. I let them sleep til 7:30 a.m. and they were the last kids to school, sometimes, well, usually, late.  but we did rush around to get there. the school is a block away.  We walked. I see these kids at Pheasant Run going to school at 7 a.m. do they go to bed at 8 p.m.  we weren't even home from activities by then. my mother may or may not have gotten on me about it, but I blew it off. the teachers said something to Beth too, and she said they said something, blew that off too.  I'm sure in their eyes it was another reason for me to look bad. never got a call though.  not sure what I would have said.  hmmm.

whatever

  the other day I went to gmail, and I got a reply from my mom from which I first sent to her in which I said, The new vest is great, it's more powerful, and she can cough up more. Such a lovely lady (my daughter) the only problem was I never sent it. My mom and I talked about the new vest, months ago, and I would never call my daughter a lovel lady, I call her young woman. My mom freaked out when I told her, but I was calm, used to all this stuff. crazy huh? it sounds like a guy. but at least it was nice, ha, and not a killer.

When I wrote in to the town paper letters to the editor section

 and said on sentence:  Housing is Right, not a Privelege. the woman down the street who probably had a fit when Pheasant Run low income apartments went up on her block, yeah, Her block, she wrote into to me like an 8 paragraph response saying it's no where in the Constitution that we have to help anyone. I was at my mom's when I saw it, and I read about half of it, cuz I was busy and I didn't care, but I thought, Woman have a heart. And I never responded back to her. In those days, not much bothered me.

last week, I think Wednesday

 so many references to me, my life, and things I've said and done  on the old Roseanne episode. nobody is going get those references but me, they're subtle too, like they know its wrong and don't wanna get caught. it used to seem like it was o.k., and that they get a kick out me, even a reference from when I was in high school, how? but now, I feel so used, and don't like it. it wasn't enough on that show,  the Conner's started doing it. I should stick to the cooking shows on t.v.

I think my left knee is sprained.

that knee took all the fall, and my left arm. been icing it, the swelling and bruising has gone down and I'm taking ibuprofen.hurts when I try to walk, I think I sprained it. I'll wrap it before I go into work Monday. I'm going in no matter what. I gotta do, on those steps, one-two-up, one-two-up, one-two-up, one-two-up. got it.

Hurt at first then it just stung

 Then the doc shot me with that numbing stuff all over the wound.  Triple stinging ohhhhh "I know you're a strong woman Sheri"  he says. "Sometimes!"then he poored something clear and cold from a tan bottle.  over it ahhh instant relief. I didn't watch him do it just talked with him and texted on my phone.

pic of my wound about 15 minutes after I fell

  going into work at 6 a.m., missed the top long cement step coming up, came down on the step on right knee, then body fell 2 feet landing on the rocks on left knee and left arm.  pitch dark, wet steps, no overhead light or railing. 7 stitches, tentanus shot, and home with an anti-biotic, and to  stay off of it to reduce swelling all day and all weekend. can go back to work Monday. watch the wound closely for bleeding, pus or wood and glass coming out of it.

NPR and a recent message I received

 they reported John Mayer is working on a new album but hasn't finished it yet, but he released a clip of a song, and a woman took it, and put it out herself with her singing it, and the reporter said, John Mayer loved it and he said You snooze you lose. ok, I'm sure nobody liked me ragging on that woman from sz.com, and her writing hitting way too close to home, so yeah, it's a message I pick up. they know I'm a big John Mayer fan.  hmm.

so I find out today

 that I'm being talked about behind my back in T.I. community. saying things like she's not a real T.I., probably calling me a perp, and that I'm mean and hateful. I'm not exactly mean, I'm just forward. cowards, just say it to me personally in Messenger. the majority of those people need to be on meds and take them properly, and don't smoke pot. I'm the real deal, otherwise I wouldn't have started Free Sheri!

Wow...

 I just watched a Christian speaker give a talk  about Infuriating Unfairness, it was good, and it made me instantly not want to drink beer, that's the kind of affect it had on me!

omg, what, dad?

  ron grutz 5:46 PM (1 hour ago) to  me Wish you could accelerate your healing. You maybe running out of time for your parents to see it.......because we may not be around. Love you also. 

ah huh, Phil.

 asking him to come check on me in the shower so I don't fall down. He does, and says, "I wish I hadn't seen that." you fucker!  you think you deserve a beautiful sexy woman?  where were you when I was? I would have turned you down flat!  yeah, go to bed at before 6 p.m. Phil, all you're good at is sleeping. Get this job Sheri, you'll lose the 10 or 15.

hmmm. new opportunity, General Labor, plumbing and pipe fitting warehouse. $13 an hour. it's full time days.

 Phil says I'll never be able to keep up. it's not far from our house.  Eldridge, Iowa. orientation tomorrow.  start the next day. day time hours.  looking for something to change my life. hmm, hope it works out.  She contacted me.  I didn't even apply. My dizziness is better after all those head/ear exercises. I'm not supposed to work full time.  if it works out, I'll contact social security. they offer benefits $29 a week out of my check. it's temp to hire.  my body can still do it.

thinking of how hard that was

 being hit, and hearing all kinds of voices while I worked throwing boxes. I talked to myself for hours inside my mind, for a major distraction, and just to get thru the day.  It was mainly encouragement.  The voices could be very mean.

a strange thing happened last night

 I got up out of bed between 3 and 3:30 a.m. got a drink of water, took another Trazone laid back down, but just laid there for over an hour doing my head/ear exercises then trying to sleep but I was wide awake and probably should have just gotten up then all of a sudden there was the loudest sound that came from the smoke detector in the hallway and I looked out there there was a red light like a laser beam had just hit it one sudden burst, then quiet the rest of the night. I cannot believe says he didn't hear it.  I mean, it was loud. he's got me thinking it was an auditory hallucination, but idk, I've never had this happen before.

On a really bad day

 I think that Walid Bitar sold my life to everyone. and why, it wasn't much then. and then when the internet comes, the mass media catches up. I came up something on a search with another guy with the Bitar name, it can't be all that common.  I believe it was on implants, can't remember. I should not be subjected to this for my stupidity! anyone in forensics would say that, Sheri. yep.

Good memory. forgive, I'm drinking.

 Mom and Fletch got married, and we went out to dinner to celebrate at the Avanti in Clinton, Iowa. and we walked back in to the back room to get a seat, and the whole family was there.  Surprise party. they didn't even tell me about it. then I planned games for them back at home, and Steve and Kathy came over, and I think Melinda too. all the original game shows.  Gawd, what was I?  16.

Well, I've told you this before.

  my mother RH negative blood, scoliosis, steel rod in spine. hard on all of us, me age 4, she had to learn to walk all over again. found out in high school from X-rays, one vertebraie on my neck is flat and it should be curved. I don't know how many times I went into chiro. I was also born with club foot, had braces when I was learning to walk, refused, went back to crawling. was told at age 5 I'd need to wear orthothics the rest of my life. never did, half the time went barefoot. ha.