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Showing posts from March, 2017

Recap II

The journalist on Fox News who said Yes, we know there was surveillance, and it's coming from Britain, was suspended from the network, but came back, saying the same thing, making all of us, well, me anyway, think, that the Russian ties to influence the election needed to be verified somehow by a source unknown to us, and so surveillance was used, or that we can't talk about our own spy agencies and intelligence gathering. If he was doing that as a favor to Trump, it didn't work, but if we're talking British government, pretty sure they hate the Russians. The story on Nunes truth of surveillance came on the day of the London attack. Nunes insisted that what he found has nothing to do with the Russians, and he apologized for not including the committee, and FBI is forced to pardon more accusations brought up by the Republicans in office, and all across the country, against Democrats.

Recap

Somehow a Trump White House staffer gets wind that Obama wiretapped Trump's phone after the election, as some sort of spiteful revenge of Trump using Russian ties to win the election, and that some other staffer working for Obama told this other staffer about it  (but don't forget Fox News who are big know it alls too) even though nobody with authority has said it actually happened, But Trump latched onto it, went to the media, Nunes was supposedly called in and was the only one who really did know something fishy was going on, but we don't know how he knows this, he took the heat, but Trump laid off, saying, I appreciate his findings and what he found out. Spicer is pretty fucking mad that their first major move can't get rid of Obama (new health care bill) but he also does this dragging through the mud to get back at the supposed liberal media the only thing missing now is What were the findings with Trump being caught in some kind of survei

I made this for Beth and Alex's fridge, it's an old cassette tape case, my own original idea (I think). I'm going to make one for us too.

Shocked Phil's doctor said something about supplements. I think he's telling me the truth, don't know for sure. It never happens. The CF clinic, I told them about doing the ion cleanse foot bath for Beth, we did it once a month for awhile when she was in high school, they blew me off, and got worried. I've heard other women with CF in their 50's or almost 60 say their mothers tried all kinds of home remedies back in the day. I remember more specifically the banana diet.

I made ham and scalloped potatoes, it turned out thick and good, perfect, but Phil screamed at me about it, and wouldn't eat it. He hates my cooking. Take a look at this I also made tonight. It's made with steel cut Irish oats, yummy. I gave some to g and g.

for Beth and me

What in the world?? This response is from my website form email sent to her over the Trump wiretapping/surveillance claim. I disagree with almost everything she said in this letter. omg, it's still pretty much, end everything Obama did.

Dear Mr. G., Thank you for taking the time to contact me about issues impacting Iowans in the Senate. It is important for me to hear from folks in Iowa on important policy matters such as these.  For two decades, I proudly wore our nation’s uniform in the Iowa Army National Guard and I am proud to now represent you in the United States Senate. As both an Army officer and a United States Senator, I swore an oath to support and defend the Constitution of the United States. This is an oath I take very seriously.  I am going to keep fighting to defend the Constitution. My focus is on issues important to Iowans. Issues like repealing and replacing a health care law that’s hurt so many hardworking families, correcting executive overreach, encouraging a limited and responsible government, ending harmful foreign policies, and ensuring that our nation’s men and women in uniform are supported as they diligently protect us from the growing threats overseas.  I am dedicated to ideas that

I don't think I ever posted about Beth health insurance

She married now, so she decided to go with Alex's Blue Cross insurance with a lower premium, but higher deductible (4K) and not Obamacare.  the camp, along with Blue Cross, raised everyone's cost for their insurance plan, and I wonder if that has anything to do with Branstad/Republican state house. I'm worried about this plan...Beth might start needing a tune-up like other CF'ers and she has a polyp back that might need surgery. There were high co-pays for her meds, but now it's been met. My co-pays for Medicaid will go up with working, but I only pay them about a little over half a year.

I sent out letters to up to 25 county Democrat offices talking about the mafia seizing our party. It's an interesting turn of events that Trump went after the Democratic president and admin over spying, and just raising the issue makes me wonder if there is some truth in what I was saying about the mob in the Democrat party. but that would make no sense, he wouldn't be shaking hands with Russians if he was so concerned about the culture of wrongdoing.

Well he did say his phones, and Paul Baird said that too, the various forms of ways they can use surveillance. The wide scope of the issue that targets have raised is varied and many, it's not just seeing what we see, or seeing through our eyes from electrodes, or hearing everything we say or said to us. If they are terrorists, or real bad guys doing it, we know they typically go after civilians, and lots of them, not always the military or the government. That's been the first question to me, Why you, a nobody from DeWitt, Iowa. It made me ask Why in my book, but I didn't want to write that.

The journalist on Fox News is sticking to his claim that the surveillance Trump is suggesting is coming from Britain. Is he talking about Eshcelon? I'm not sure I remember where that big hub is located. I believe that's all just data and telephone surveillance, all communications, and not specific, but more general. It's still hard to target one individual in today's world. If Trump wants to, he can not drop it, but claim this kind of surveillance. He wasn't he specific about what he meant, but I don't know all that can and can't be said.

The rule is, social security sees that one month of 3 paychecks, and they think you are capable of working full time, and don't need to be on SSDI. probably not though. I got calls for Ticket to Work program, I think they were going to find me a good paying job that I would keep, and go off of disability. After the evaluation, they told me I wasn't eligible. I have no idea why. even if it was just for trial work period.

So, you ask, why don't you just work a full time job, and make your own money. Well, the jobs I would get or keep, I'd make less than working part time and staying on disability, plus, I wouldn't have health benefits, in most cases. I have a dependent son too. I may have been able to withstand extreme targeting at Family Distribution Center full time job, but was about to be fired for not making rate.

I'm going to say something to piss off anybody from Linked In that might be here on occasion, and flamed me. Many schizophrenics, say, getting 800 dollars a month, do under the table jobs for cash, and don't report it so it doesn't Affect their check, and believe it or not they talk about it on schizophrenia.com online. DHS is something totally different from housing authorities. Yes, you have to report to DHS immediately, housing is done once a year for renewal. You might make a little money one month, and then the job doesn't work out, or even 3 months, and you leave and have nothing then. It'd be a lot of reporting, off and on, and if you call the agency, you might not get through to anyone, or have to wait up to an hour on the phone. DHS sends forms every month for you to report. Housing does it once a year.

NPR/Cokie Roberts, thank you. Was that the same Church Committee from the 70's from Canada that was under surveillance? Those women were finally given retribution in money, and the case is now a history truth. I'm not sure it's the same thing you mentioned, because it might have something different in Congress, but the one I'm thinking of may have been different being from a different country, and not what has been done that we know about domestically here.

hmm. drawing tonight,

Another plug. Alec and I are taking this every day. Had a hard time finding anything chewable for adults, and I refuse to drink it, yuck.

in my miraculous year, I was eating this powder in my smoothie every day after a hard workout. I still use it, but not working out like I used to. I make it with whole milk plain yogurt, frozen fruit, two scoops of powder and a little bit of milk. I really swear by it.

drawing I did for Beth this morning

Not only did this guy win 10K for the Kate Tufts Award, he just won 50K for the Whiting Award. This poem assumes the worst of woman, that she knows nothing, that it takes him to inform her, that she's a sex fiend,, but that he has to try with the first line to show she's innocent, and that maybe, just maybe, he loves her.

* “Do-rag” O darling, the moon did not disrobe you. You fell asleep that way, nude and capsized by our wine, our bump n’ grind shenanigans. Blame it on whatever you like; my bed welcomes whomever you decide to be: hung- mistress, bride’s bouquet, John Doe in the alcove of my dreams. You can quote verbatim an entire album of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony with your ass in the air. There’s nothing wrong with that. They mince syllables as you call me yours. You don’t like me but still invite me to your home when your homies aren’t near enough to hear us crash into each other like hours. Some men have killed their lovers because they loved them so much in secret that the secret kept coming out: wife gouging her husband with suspicion, churches sneering when an usher enters. Never mind that. The sickle moon turns the sky into a man’s mouth slapped sideways to keep him from spilling what no one would understand: you call me god when it gets good though I do not exist to you outs

I'm assuming when the Paris Review posted this out of all of her poetry, it must have been what sold them. She was one of the people awarded 50K dollars for the Whiting Award.

An excerpt from  Lotion : Lotion is a palliative. What does it correct? It corrects ash. What is ashiness? Ash is a gray track of evident decay, most striking in contrast with darker skins, brown skins, tending to black. After bathing, I apply both face and body lotions. After handwashing, hand lotion. In the winter, I apply an extra layer of thick oily cream, too oily for the hands (but good for the thin skin on the shins that cracks in cold, dry weather) to my heels and elbows. Sometimes I notice a black woman unknown to me, not homeless, whose legs or feet or hands are so ashy that I wonder whether she has lost her mind. Liniments are a second class of lotions, meant to address a deeper set of problems. I find myself on my knees with some rags and a bucket filled with scalding hot soapy water and bleach. My mother has visited and discovered some scuzz on the stepladder that I am obliged to use for retrieving bowls, pitchers and the like from the uppermost shelves in my apar

haircut I got today. tomorrow I'll be wearing makeup to my interview, and probably every day I work there.

Just something I did to put things in on my desk. Please say some prayers for my interview in sales and marketing job on Thursday. I want this job. I want it bad! ahhhh, then we're all believers, huh?

Don't they miss the larger point

When Trump said Obama was wiretapping him after the election all the Dems and media continue to say (thank you, Dan Rather) is that the former administration did not do that to Trump and his team there hasn't been one thing about surveillance in general all Nunes is supposed to do is prove truth or falsehood to what Trump has claimed.   I hope Nunes will tell us if there was surveillance, who was under it, who was doing it, and why. I would ask Trump, go back with your team to those Russians you shook hands with, find them, ask them. I've been thinking more about Britain, and I guess I would need to read more on what has been said about RH negative blood (stop talking about your bad blood) the history and the church/state/land that drove people to target us.

This is how that poem is actually typed

Untitled  I go off wrapping mine mind around trees  in pink ribbon the ones I'll never climb  the dead ones that must be removed  when nothing can be made from it  Once I put out fires with sand in bags  from my trunk but it was just in my head  burning and rising out of control from the gut  when there will be so castles or moats  any kind of bridge to get to the other side  my mother had a painting burnt on wood  glossy as that sky that bites down with teeth  and leaves an imprint there in the middle  Say my mind wrapped around the globe  stretching with it across stormy seas  you'd call that distance that aerial view that big picture  nothing but surface and lines you don't want to cross  Days pass and my mind is still  the trees are waiting for something  nothing but angry birds at times that stop only briefly  s.m.g.

I'm going to keep fortune cookie strips and quotes in this I made today

shell paper weight I made tonight, it's actually a glass candy dish I never use. I used great northern beans, kidney beans, and paints.

haha

I'm trying to grow another spider plant

Lady bug I got yesterday at the flower show

poem today (Jason was a cutter)

Jason was a cutter Jason was a cutter before he cut into his first pomegranate , soft and giving, the fruit bled his own handling of things, stinging his raw fingernails and finding that right pain something you suck away without being Morrison, or any vegetable he might be getting tire of. Jason would walk for miles for that pomegranate , and he'd pay anything and call that cuting, the art of life, sections of sweetness even ripening the sky when he got too open with me and I left like a balloon that disappears. I had too much wind. Jason didn't have to eat his own liver, lung, or lips he just kept replacing his arm and his leg and his chest for getting to the middle or the center of what was picked, boxed like a memory then out in the open, this fruit was his, and his taste improved, and sometime I'm going to tell him, no poem, no beer, that I want him back. s.m.g.

This Sky I Know art I did tonight. see that shadow, that's Eddie, and the northern lights

My emoji art I did tonight

The good news is that I will be seeing a nurse practitioner for my upcoming psych visits here locally. the state of Iowa allows it. Rehab at the same place will be 3 days a week for two hours. I have to wait for people to graduate to get a spot. Yes, I'm disappointed the wiretapping story is going to go nowhere, but I've been having thought insertion that's bothering me too, critical and mean, like the voices, so it's just as well. I made a little progress though.

Two sides of my rotating tree, the others are the same. thank you, Beth, for the hot glue gun.

Another craft art project I did tonight

Just a decoration I made tonight. tomorrow I'll post my rotating Christmas tree, the pine cones are drying.

Alright, what Sheri knows from canvassing and collecting votes if there is truth to voter fraud that Trump claims

When we went out collecting votes for early voting, the people on our list had already voted Democrat. You think we waste our time on Republicans? If they had already voted, they were registered to vote. There might have been one person in the house who also wanted to vote Absentee, so we signed them up. No, I never checked if that person was registered to vote. I'm assuming the auditor did. Maybe not. It happened happened very rarely, if ever.

I kid Phil that we are turning into an elderly couple, all we care about is our meals, but now we really are with mismatched throw rugs, take a look.

Once I went from my mom's house to Waterloo to meet a DJ. He spoke on a stage, I think they had bands, it was outside, a lot of the radio station was there, this DJ was drunk. Beth and I sat close by, and I noticed two people, guy and woman, working on the stage, doing things, then they came down and stood in eye view of us, looking over occasionally. they stood there and talked and talked and talked for up to an hour, engaged in conversation that I think was one topic. targeting. I think it may have been the morning show DJ's.

Not sure, but I think Bill Clinton has been the only president to formally apologize in a media conference about the history of experimentation on humans in this country. I feel two ways, first of all, it was only up to a 2 minute apology and history lesson, and it was scripted (precusor to Monica), but it is proof or admittance to wrongdoing that Bush never did when it came to torture, or Obama ever did when it came to Benghazi. If the media was anything today like they were then, it wouldn't have been met with silence.

The thing about that picture with Trump shaking hands with political insiders or something from Russia, they had coats on, they were standing up, as if in passing, as if he only did so as tip or a favor to the Trump team. He has today the media is dishonest about Russia, even Bernie wants to understand the love affair with Republicans and Russia. Personally, I don't think it's anything but wanting to resurrect Reagan.

When I wrote the NSA under Freedom of Information to Act to find out if the spy agencies have me under surveillance on a watch and torture list, I was told by them that I am not a member of the government, there are no files on me. What does that tell ya? That there are files on people under surveillance working for our government? Who would they keep under surveillance within our government, and why do they stay, and why do they allow it? Because we have to keep an eye on them. We had to bring the Nazi scientists into our country in case they reeked havoc on us. It's the government vs. the people. But it's not our government.

Nunes has said, his findings have nothing to do with Russia. It is kind of cliche, Russian Spies. They were on U.S. soil shaking hands with Trump. They are either inside our government, funding our government or driving the surveillance and electronic torture of U.S. citizens. I don't think, but not sure, that Trump knew that, or if he did, he would be impeached. I also am not sure if Nunes knew that when he revealed surveillance from the last administration. There is no administration here. We'd have to go back, maybe as far as when satellites were developed, guess who? the Russians. Khruchev came to Iowa, stood here and said, "We will take you, without even taking a thing."

When I was being electronically torture, I do remember calling the ACLU, and the guy on the line telling me they don't do surveillance. Ben Stone, the director of the Des Moines ACLU chapter has never responded to my letters and emails, and the agency helps kids discriminated against, nothing for my kids for protection. How many are in ignoreland because there is no apparatus established to prove such claims, or the issue is hush-hush, all of 'em, the radio, media, government, Hollywood, cell phone companies, telephone companies, Bill Gates, Google, Yahoo, MSN, hired citizens, doctors, lawyers, neighbors...........etc.

The ACLU is sort of changing their tune too, just like the FBI. How would it have been different, if, when in 1998 or so, the first place I went to was the FBI here. He told me to hire a private investigator. John McCain, if Congress can't do it, it seems they can do everything else with our government and officials these days, the FBI. Don't get me wrong, the FBI might be involved in our targeting. Truly, they have no business with the smoke and mirrors of Hillary Clinton, and meddling elections. No business at all. Trump needs to order either them, or an independent counsel from a different country, to actually DO the people's work.

First thing said in Obama's Ethics Committee: "The United States government doesn't do something like that to a United States citizen." Chuck Grassley wrote to me, almost every time, until he told me, I don't want to hear from you anymore, because he had already told me we have to protect our country. There was almost a reality there with Grassley. I did go back, and then I believe a few in his office really wanted my follow up, maybe even him. I didn't do it.

Absolutely not

Who told Trump about the alleged surveillance of his phones by the former administration, or did he just suspect on his own?  It could have been Paul Ryan knowing that so many align with the Russia/USA pact when the investigation got going about meddling with our elections. Still, Republicans have been more forthcoming, and I'm certainly glad that Nunes played dirty rotten politics, ignoring everyone else who would have likely never done the same. I'm also glad it was done within the within of our government authorized to do so by Trump, and it has already shown me, this administration is on our side. If the Democrats don't want to work in their committee with such an attitude, then get the hell out of government.  You only have your own interests, and you're not putting the people first.

The law says it's not illegal to be subject or inside the surveillance of another target, so they likely go by the books. The larger question is who, where, and why the surveillance is coming from, but they still can't tell us that, because it's classified and will put us at risk. So many, so many....believe in this kind of security, they swear by it, they see London, and they say, Yes, we cannot be safe without it. Was I absolutely pissed off over Aaron May shooting up a library in Florida over his supposed targeting, yes! Was I livid over 911, yes! I'm an American too, and first.

Beth, I've proven myself as a writer. I knew it wasn't all for not. :) I think people DO believe me. Lots don't though. I've never been physically brought down by anyone in the system, but I have pushed the envelope so many times. Me too, doesn't go the distance. We escaped into books, didn't we? And fun events. I was told that by someone in Des Moines, fight a little bit, but live your life. Go back to the drawing board. I had so much to do. Raising you guys, the challenges you two faced. Being there, trying to make money. All of it mattered, Beth.

All the targets have ever wanted is to turn our terrible situations of being targeted by foreign nationals into Unclassified Truth. Where that validation comes from has been tricky, just hints and dropped clues by mass media, certain reps who've expressed who can't do anything but suspect a likelihood of truth, but can't even dent the surface of their own inside committees. Politics on this issue is adding beyond belief to beyond belief.

The reaction from Trump is strange. He said he's happy to know what the intelligence chair found on his claims of surveillance, and it may now be turned into a political thing against the former administration. The hardest thing on that argument, and typical of Fox news and Republicans in general, is that my surveillance didn't change when Trump took office, so really they try to have it both ways, come down on Obama, don't admit guilt, reveal a foot, and not a leg, don't go the distance or react with absolute anger and shock over what that truth means for all of us.

The chairman of the house intelligence committee has affirmed that surveillance is possible from our government and that it is happening today. It took an incredible amount of guts to come forward with what he knows. It confirms, also, that Congress can and does play a role, John McCain, not matter the record of refusal from the Ethics Committee, and every single rep who has heard pleas from targeted individuals, and done next to nothing.

On the other hand, the FBI

Why hasn't the FCC stepped in? What the hell are the FCC good for? all DJ's tuning in here, media and what not. Well, now wait.  So, the DJ's were able to tap into Trump too? And the media? Well, here we go, the double standards. oh, my. I'm getting it all confused with my story.

I read some of that by Washington Post about foreign nationals within

So really, if it's Russians infiltrated, and influenced the election, thank you for being stupid, and maybe, Obama trying at the very end to throw something the American target's way. Interesting turn of events, is this like the government investigating the government under the same administration (Obama)? wow.  I thought we needed an outside government to do that.

So glad they're saying surveillance now, and not wiretapping

Paul Baird called that telephone satellite surveillance, or up to, data surveillance, so I really wouldn't even stop there, if I were Trump, and its almost good to hear it in the news. I called my telephone company and said, I am forcing you to check into this on my line. She told me, "If the government is doing it, they can do whatever they want." Kissed her country goodbye.

Sad day in London, but I've read Zadie Smith. I did some coloring today.

This is really not a big deal, thank you, Phil for that reaction, but better blog about it instead of drinking about it, or both. Called up to high school here to get previous immunization records for Alec, the secretary there put me on hold to look for it, came back and said, "Judy, you should have gotten them with his dipolma...." Her only remembrance of us was my mom, Judy, and not me. Well, that schizophrenic, single, biological mother certainly wouldn't be calling us. I love this town.

Going up to get smokes for the day, this strip of street people get going, it's pitch dark, suddenly two runners, no reflective clothing, I almost hit them, and if they had been running faster, I might have. stupid runners. I used to do it too, before I had Deoge, now it's all in the park. I had a near miss with Alec once, my fault. Dear Runners, do you know how many people get hit in downtown Davenport? It happens quite often.

more pics from today. we did the labyrinth real slow, the way it's supposed to be done, thank you very much.

Happy Spring, from Sheri and Alec

Just thinking about saying not doing things for show

it is a good feeling though to prove people wrong. pretty sure nobody thinks I can quit drinking. it's not a motivation though. Fox news can't understand why I do the things I do under surveillance. I guess I can try to make it look good.  whatever that means. my motivation right now is to not throw up and be sick all the time. I still have some.  not nearly as terrible though.

Classes

always looking to learn. library online has a lot tried enrolling in neuroscience, missed every single question on the pretest then Einstein, over my head, but liked it about how we might all experience things in the same way, that's comforting then arts and creativity, get to your sacred place, stupid. I'll keep looking.

One other thing, NPR talking about a woman being cruel burning his skin, but to see it with empathy and understanding. Why are they saying this now, sheri? because of the movie Beauty and the Beast. Alec burned his own self on an iron and a stove top, anything else, you were being a mother, a parent! No damage was done to Alec. I guess they do it to prove a point. You never really were able to be a mother, were you? it's not worth drinking over.

Today

Class on the Didjeriroo, and painting a did today.

Vogue Magazine, here's the thing about Selena Gomez getting depression and anxiety, and me

Selena thinks it's depression that she can't live up to her own images or expectations from others, and that she used to cry too much. I feel it's depressed when you don't cry, don't think of yourself, but you feel NO emotions, and a dark, terrible pain wells up inside of you like the first night after you've died. Selena feels it's a panic attack before performing on stage. I felt nervous as a teen reading to the whole church at the podium each Sunday, but I did not feel I was having a heart attack, couldn't catch my breath, and lost sense of what I was doing in pure over excitement.

Some of the coloring I did with Elijah and Julie while inpatient

Just trying this out with my doubled meds (The tree of life) a poem

The tree of life The words were tied a God's eye with sticks and stones in my eyes words that won't break in the falling even cleanly with hands that break bread the yarn was hair tying back the tree of life what life would be discarded in yard waste and mess I'll make a God's eye you make a mandala and we will live again the words in the hand when a child plays yarn games God's eye around fingers we threw sticks into the water Pooh sticks which will keep going on a shallow creek that made its own bed (s.m.g.)

Bowels

No bowel movement the 4 days inpatient. In Iowa City, no bowel movement for 7 days inpatient. It could be lack of caffeine, smokes, and beer. or it could be the implants that control my whole body.

Mark the Date

March 18th, I guess that's this Saturday the real Special Olympics will start airing on one of the ESPN channels from Austria. I hope it gets Yahoo, Google, MSN coverage and articles.

Eugenics

Republicans say Obamacare has failed because all the healthy people pay for the poor, sick people. Can someone tell us the truth on who pays, eventually, or anytime we have gov care? I thought the main argument was that nobody could afford to be on Obamacare.

Ok, so I guess I can't say anything I want to

Got it. What I try to tell Phil and my family, yes, we can raise my meds, but these thoughts on targeting don't go away. I still have the thoughts, or it pops in my mind, but with the meds I'm just not bothered by it, or I don't rise to the occasion. I really wish everyone, everyone understood schizophrenia.

I did it all

writing reading blogging activism running dancing parenting art musicals plays fairs church vacations volunteering working talking dating cooking museums etc. (maybe too much, of all of it)

short poem today

Untitled Every time the mind sings it's off key the ear is packed with ice cracking from the step by step procedure any song you fall down into the wrong octave the wrong death there would be no one around when the mind lost its footing each note too heavy to carry s.m.g.

Taken the other night, don't I look a lot like Jorie Graham here, without the make up

The kids that were born in '92

Beth, you guys are so special, because you knew both worlds with and without internet, computers, cell phones also, with and without pavement up at the park on the trails with and without the new swimming pool you knew the old and the new no kid born today can say that

Pop up window right now

Another computer on this network has the same IP address as this computer.  Contact your network administrator for help resolving this issue.  More information is available on Windows event log. (I'm scared to close this window, and I think I'll just restart the computer.  I don't think this is targeting, but a scam I fell for in which I gave out my information after they infected my computer so that they would fix it.  I didn't pay them, and they infected my computer all over again for weeks. They might still be around, but I was kind of hoping someone caught them.)

Surveillance bracelets

I think they are mainly used on criminals but now Congress, unanimously, not one vote against wants to use them on autistic kids. It's to say to parents, Can't keep track of your autism kid, we're going to help you out. We've got them now.

Prose today: The picket fence

The picket fence The day was carried in the white bucket when you painted any other fence or wall that was put up a long time ago always making something look good look better look new the sky fit round like a blue bonnet the sun tucked in there smiling fair hair overflowing the day was spilled if you call them white lies white washing white fingernails chipping morning down to pink any other fence wouldn't be stained for life instead the day had a brush of wind when you keep something in life gave that pretty girl a wish for red down to the bone s.m.g.

Thank you, Joni, my new response from her

This is an unattended mailbox. If you wish to voice a concern, please click here:  http://www.ernst.senate.gov/ public/index.cfm/contact  or call my office at  202-224-3254 .  Also if you would like to stay-up to-date with what I am doing to serve you in the Senate, please sign up for my newsletter by using the form found here:  www.ernst.senate.gov   >>>> < http://sgrutz33me.blogspot. com/2017/03/us-took-nazi- scientists-in-out-of-fear.html >  >>>> >>>> On Tue, Mar 7, 2017 at 11:56 AM, Sheri Grutz < sgrutz33@gmail.com > >>>> wrote: >>>> >>>>> Sheri, imagine everyone fighting for a different reason, a good >>>>> reason, they don't collapse like you. hmmm, idk, this is Nazi Germany.  >>>>> < http://sgrutz33me.blogspot. com/2017/03/sheri-imagine- everyone-fighting-for.html >  >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, Mar 7, 2017 at 10:32 AM, Sher

I'll never forget

Down the stretch, Beth beating Carrie Demon at the Clinton Invitational. She threw up right afterward. What an amazing story she is, Beth. Started out, not sure of her breathing, CF, always got last place. Moved up to be the high school team captain of Cross Country. Carrie's dad, Wes, always gave us pics he took, on CD. He was at Guardian. We talked often about our kids.

My miraculous year

I decided to give up beer, for my job, first shift custodian, and no smokes.  I was addictions free, and would do 12 minute workouts in the woman's restroom, come home and do more, so healthy. Ate the best things, but not much, got small, but felt invinisible. It was so emotional when I ran a race with Beth, after about 10 years. I never thought I'd be back.

Check out this bullshit after every email I send to them

The Office of Congressional Ethics (OCE) of the United States House of Representatives is in receipt of your submission. The OCE reviews all information submitted to it pursuant to House Resolution 895 of the 110th Congress as amended and the OCE Rules for the Conduct of Investigations. Pursuant to House Rules a preliminary review commences upon the written authorization of two members of the OCE Board, one of whom must have been appointed by the Speaker of the House and one of whom must have been appointed by the Minority Leader. The Board shall authorize a preliminary review where there is a "reasonable basis" to believe an allegation. However, this determination does not constitute a finding that a violation has actually occurred. Pursuant to House Rules, all investigations by the OCE are confidential. Therefore, the OCE is not able to provide any further information about whether the Board has authorized a review or whether the OCE has conducted an investigation

This is the new automated reply from Joni Ernst government email address

This is the mail system at host  A-ITS-FE-EX-WF.itsec.senate. gov . I'm sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients. It's attached below. For further assistance, please send mail to postmaster. If you do so, please include this problem report. You can delete your own text from the attached returned message.                    The mail system < webmail@ernst-iq.senate.gov >: message size 2668430 exceeds size limit 2097152     of server  ernst-iq.senate.ussenate.us [ 192.168.102.227] Final-Recipient: rfc822;  webmail@ernst-iq.senate.gov Original-Recipient:  rfc822;webmail@ernst-iq. senate.gov Action: failed Status: 5.3.4 Diagnostic-Code: X-Postfix; message size 2668430 exceeds size limit 2097152 of     server  ernst-iq.senate.ussenate.us [ 192.168.1

Not Done

Not done. Imagine electronic torture at your place of work, and not only that, but in Church! If it's satellites, or our own minds back firing from implants, it's still torture. I'm including an attachment of a picture taken over a year ago when I was in the ER for psych reasons, couldn't cope, of what I was given no explanation for, but I do believe they are electronic burns.  Could even be chemical weapons. That....is.....a....war..... zone.

The Truth I sent today to the Congressional Ethics Committee

Experiments in congruence with MK Ultra historical abuses are still happening today. We had our chance to appear before this Committee a few years ago, and unfortunately, the woman who represented the targets got all emotional, lost credence, and accountability, and we were told to never come back to them.  I have all mass media following, tracking, with me every day, I think mainly because I'm a threat.  Bill Clinton told the media a long time ago, this country is guilty of many different various human experiments, and he made a formal apology.  Obama couldn't do it.  But, neither could Bush. I've known, since the internet came out, about this targeting.  Pavlov's dog, punishment and reward system, high levels of radiation, weapons, implants, and total set up of your own mind against you.  Causes mental illness, PTSD, society aggression, all phone, computer, everywhere, everything. Hmmm, yeah.  I've also got two disab

If you were confused from yesterday, here's what really happened

Joni Ernst responded to my email from her own government email address. When I respond to back to that same email address, this is what I get: This is an unattended mailbox. If you wish to voice a concern, please click here:  http://www.ernst.senate. gov/public/index.cfm/contact   or call my office at  202-224-3254 .  Also if you would like to stay-up to-date with what I am doing to serve you in the Senate, please sign up for my newsletter by using the form found here:  www.ernst.senate.gov However, she sends me emails every day from this same email address.

The main problem with Republicans that I learned by being on Linked In

Is that they hated Obama, and still do, for absolutely no reason, same with Hillary,  they created issues over them that not one Democrat cared about, it was all just abject Republican hatred. And now that Trump has done a million things to make us hate him, the Republicans think all of us should give him total support and no opposition. Alex, you're right.  Party of hypocrisy.  And you are one of the smartest guys I know. The Republicans want Trump to have his own email server,,,,, what?

An old poem, by Sheri. We've been around awhile, oh yeah, still here.

Guns I swore a long time ago that I would never sleep in a house with a gun, so when I spent the night at your parents house the first night, I was rattled by that gun case, the shotguns hanging there like brooms as if to really clean your clock, as if to really be ready for use, and I couldn't sleep in that room, I couldn't stop staring at the barrel, the trigger, was our sex a part of it? Yours shining and new, your finger on me ready to hear the explosion? Sleep wouldn't come. Later, you said, enough, and covered the case with a blanket. It was like a box of puppets then, hidden and silent, hoisted up by invisible strings, and the guns wouldn't kill the beer headache or the lights I insisted upon, wouldn't kill me or you or any thought of love, they would only need a target to be raised, to be poised and steady, here is where I lay still and straight, as if in glass, as

I think this is the first prose piece I've put first person into, not sure

The River The distance came from the bottom of the river rising up and over like a voice rushing to declare something is truly happening wondering when it stops and how much destroyed in this wake you can see clearly into the distant future like throwing out a line and catching it when it comes but soon you won't know me drifting as I do or making my own waves then going against the current and how to clean it up rains will come when everything is a chance you still take out your boat power against power not hearing a thing from you maybe we just want to be gone as in blitzed into that sun fighting and fighting the distance was coming and time flew like a scared bird we can't keep s.m.g.

How uncommon, Phil

I went after the guy. This was the 80's. Things were changing. I would have given up everything for him, not much to give up though. We had retreat at his school, I was dying to see him there. He wasn't. A young woman, doing that. He said, Dad, tell her to leave me alone. He looked in my eyes, and couldn't do it. The last time you saw him? Residency at UIHC, he saw me, my kids in the hospital. Did he know?  About targeting? I think he did.