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Showing posts from 2018

Being Saved (a brief poem)

Being Saved Mornings and coins are dropping from the sky or is that sun trying to save me for a rainy day I've been saved many times and it gets to me on Sunday that I should be somewhere the days weave a tapestry and the nights pour like coffee from that clear container at first I thought the beginning of  a year would once again save me from the past but I carried it over like sick days when the memory is thick as honey at first I thought I'd be spoken for by Jesus but the riot in my head said keep your distance I've been saved by the gleam in Phil's eye when everything is coming up sky.

Silly jokes by Sheri

young man has bright light bulb ideas in his head, says, until I’m burnt out. Young woman goes to the grocery store often, says, I’m pro-choice. Older rich man takes up golf, says, I used to have a driver. Older woman has no garden and likes her long hair, says, it’s the only thing I can grow. Girlfriend of a banker says, didn’t know I’d have to cash in all my dreams. Housewife hates to dust, says, I never knew it’d be this bad to settle down.

All that I am (a brief poem)

All that I am I went for a drive to the park and the park was in me I went to get a haircut and the stylist was in me Everything I do goes inside the surrounding is done it makes an impact like a soft blow to the stomach I went to the church and the church was in me Everything I do is internal it goes straight in and doesn't stop I went to the bank and the bank was in me I have no empty feelings I have no lack of regard I went to the ocean and the ocean was in me Everything I do is making me hunger for the truth.

Silly Jokes by Sheri

Young man into computers likes to roller blade, says, I never wipe out my memory. Teenage girl goes shopping for her mom, says, I think this bagger is on my list. Schizophrenic goes to the casino, says, I will bet they're all out to get me. Seasoned chiro takes new patients, says, You gotta get a little backbone. Mother with 3 kids goes to the retail store, asks, Where's the sale on Peace candles? Older man gets into golf, says, I already know how to putt putt around.

Phil is getting tested today

 I thank my lucky stars that Phil never ran from me, had a son with intellectual disabilty in the backseat when I came to pick him up, told him on the second day I'm pd. sz, told him about my daughter on the 3rd day, and told him about targeting on the 5th day. Then I told him, no more shocks. that's about it.

When a Repub...

When a Repub takes responsibility instead of blaming someone else, and your'e like...that never happens! 2 Comments Like Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry Comment Share Comments Sheri Grutz   When a Repub gives 15% of his income to charity, and your'e like....that never happens! Edit or delete this Like Show more reactions  ·  Reply  ·  4m Sheri Grutz   When a Repub politician is criticized for his expenditures on a personal and professional level, then wants to cut spending across the board.

"See the clown?"

Christmas greetings to all my friends, family, T.I. family and associates.

This week's post on Free Sheri!

Being a Suspect Target, the watch list is a very hard one to break free from, and the people in town consider this crime in the community. The mass media have been some of the best, and some of the worst, but the way the system reacts, it has given me every clue that I'm under surveillance. The hideous part of this reward/punish way of treating the Suspect Target, is the experiment of the human brain without consent, the testing of weapons, well anything they have learned is done by now. I want off the list. I have a clean criminal record, and have done years of community service to prove I'm a good and decent person who shouldn't be treated this way.

Silly jokes by Sheri

Teenage girl tries her hand at making cookies, her mom says, At least it's not a bun in the oven. young boy goes to the park with the neighborhood kids, says, I know how to let it slide. Older woman swims laps at the gym, says, I've never hit the wall. Female doctor hears complaints from man with a bad cough, says, I'm glad you got that off your chest. Comedian takes her kids to the pizza parlor, says, I was getting kind of cheesy.

just a poem, "The Target in Town"

The Target in Town There was a day that started like an engine when you've been driven to tears in the cold world even with armor they kill the soul with pointing fingers and talk of a misplaced person down from the shelf years I thought heat would grow all kinds of life or crack open a dream in the center of the moon there's a window sealed like lips gone white from freight when what's happening all around you is heartless on the beaten path take this poverty of speech to the stray cats and learn to find your own ground.

yep...me too.

When I pass out and hit my head.

Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter spoke on our issues, not sure if you can find that on You Tube, it was posted on another target's website. I went after him hard, and they refused to take my calls, calling me the media, never got a response to letter. I guess he'll go to his grav

DNA and strange blood

I think my dad is O positive, and my mother is RH negative, so likely I'm RH positive, but I'm going to get it checked, I must have been gone the day we tested in Biology class in high school. The risk factor for schizophrenia doubles with these conditions. The genetics with my kids could have been affected through targeting, or my DNA changed somehow, maybe through poor diet or other difficult life experiences.

electricity

I've bought light bulbs that went black and burnt out right when I was changing them to a new one. I've had 3 lamps start on fire. Many outlets in the house have stopped working.

Surveillance issues

When they released the memo that Nunes wrote to Trump over his shock of finding out about surveillance issues under FISA, I waited eagerly, but it ended up being a dud, and even the media said that. There was nothing specific about Americans in any gov program, but at the time Trump was blaming Obama for being caught in someone else's surveillance, something they added to FISA that you can get nothing for it. Boy were the radio people mad, and probably the NewHour on PBS. If their broadcast is on someone else's broadcast, they can't get paid.

Blacks

  Obama wanted to move the ghetto living into the suburbs, guess who opposed that? Every single Repub. In fact Ben Carson raised the rent percentage to 35 percent of your income. Colin Kapernick was mocked and riduculed by Trump/Pense. It was Dems that started the Million Man March, strengthened the Black Caucus, and improved diversity across the board.

25 years and counting

When you reach 25 years of knowing about surveillance issues, what happens to a person? I've never said, I could have done more with my kids, We've done everything! But you remember how little was out there in the beginning to take hold of and know what's going on. You know you have to wait, and try again in a year, or two. You feel at this point that there is no end, yet, your voice is heard. Torture under W was all over the news, and the undercurrent of our attacks wer e there. Never going anywhere with the War on Terror, keeping us on the list. The new normal, no more shock, is keeping us targeted, it's every day, never changing. You see stories of people who were wrongly accused of being in prison, years later, they're released, and you think that no matter how long, there is a possibility. When every person has been contacted, called, written to, gone in person, you see no way to push the issues into action, since it's you against a whole cluster of forces.

I'll probably stick around on FB

I'll probably stick around, not much else to do until Phil comes home, he says I can clean, how nice of him. The kitchen is always immaculate when he comes home, that's about it. Gone are the days I used to read novels all day. I think I have a real fear of facing the world and being treated bad. But heck, I'm saving gas.

Here's what I get on Facebook

 I'm not reading nor replying to your lies Sheri, I know you're a shitty person, I can smell it all over you and you look fucking ugly, sucked in you have to suck off that grey old fossil, be sure you're not abusing him too or I'll be back to blast you with DEWs again!! Suck his grey dick dry you old fossil and then roll over n die, a short lived, abusive and hollow life!! Muhahaha

Fashion boots (next poem in the series)

Fashion boots These have a crush on the legs and they tell the world this statement that going out is looking good with a skirt and a sweater the weather is roaming like a gray cat when the woman steps into the parking lot fit to be tied the boots translate a long day ahead written for the masses she makes her way into understanding this feel so good and approachable in style.

Baby boomers coming back at me.

 I had a paper route at age 11. Babysat there after, and worked at a drive in restaurant, all before the age of 17. I know what it's like to need money. My father paid 300 dollars a month in child support. He had a house with a pool. My mother worked as secretary, and no she didn't move up to CEO, in fact gone from 8 to 5 every day, rarely saw her. What I've understood is that our fathers divorced our mothers, and left them destitute while they went out to make their 80K. I can give you examples of this.

Check this out from another target! wow.

I Buy From the Damned I buy from the damned watch their eyes glow red as they stuff my shekels into their ash lined pockets and somewhere a stock index sets off an alarm I buy from the damned the polluted wares of a poisoned earth arsenic peaches, strychnine milk a piece of wormy ham for a bony dog I buy from the damned watch their gleeful smiles as their poison passes from their hands to mine Yet they do not thrive they do not increase and multiply waddling back to their warehouses gimpy legs and ulcerated hearts enriched but not redeemed I buy from the damned the last shriveled fruits of a necrotic world and I steal back into the hold After the prayers are said and death has again been sent into exile and every purchase consecrated into its holy form succulent, sacred sanctified I light a candle and close the shutters against the descending storm --Janet Phelan

Hell ya, asylum seekers!

Baby Boomers have been ruining this country for decades, they started out with Peace and Love, then turned to Hate and Bigotry. They didn't raise us right, and they don't know anything about the Freedoms we have found outside of them. Why do you think my first published book was dedicated to my teachers.

Silly jokes by Sheri

Young girl likes to play musical instruments, says, You can't blow me off. Chiro takes new patients, says, Just let me have a crack at you. Mother takes her kids to the movies, says, I've been keeping you in the dark for years. A dad volunteers for son's baseball team, says, Do you catch my drift? Baker makes loafs all day, says, It's my bread and butter. Young man likes to chew gum, says, I think I'm living in a bubble.

My anniversary of torture is MLK day

I was nearly killed with these weapons in 2004, fighting through that force field hold over my head, and bathing in EM energy coming from the computer screen, since I seemed close to death, and being screamed at, I'm going to kill you! I developed PTSD, and I have a hard time with any sort of violence, even today. I try explaining this to Phil, but I still don't think he understands. And there's really no way to heal with this being on-going. If I ever got a class action lawsuit, they caused me not only pd. sz, but ptsd, loss of nearly everything in my life, and endless pain and suffering.

Yep...

Flip flops (third poem in the series)

Flip flops Slapping the heel like an angry wife without a sock every other true color using the space between toes down to the bare bones best at the pool when the water drips off of you as a leaky faucet turned to hot then into the cold the flat shoe takes each step against burning cement and makes it air conditioned feet a strap of plastic across the width keeps the sun steady in that clear sky.

Fatty Liver Disease

Fatty Liver (Hepatic Steatosis) Symptoms Causes Types Risk Diagnosis Treatment Outlook Prevention Fatty liver Fatty liver, or hepatic steatosis, is a term that describes the buildup of fat in the liver. It’s normal to have small amounts of fat in your liver, but too much can become a health problem. The liver is the second largest organ in the body. It’s responsible for a wide variety of functions, including processing everything we eat and drink, and filtering harmful substances from the blood. Too much fat in the liver can lead to long-term liver damage. View a BodyMap of the liver and learn more about its function. Early stage fatty liver is diagnosed when the proportion of liver cells that contain fat is more than 5 percent. This is often diagnosed by looking at small samples taken from the liver under the microscope. Ultrasounds, CT scans, and MRI scans can also help evaluate the fat content of the liver. The liver commonly repairs itself by rebuilding new liver cells

Silly jokes by Sheri

Woman goes to the store, says to the produce guy, Don't get fresh with me, Peter. Man makes a lot of money on slots, says, I've been feeding this thing more lines than my woman. Girl likes to ice skate, says, I've only fallen for one guy. Young boy wants Legos for Christmas, says, I can put together a pretty strong argument. Teenage girl wants to drink beer in summer, says, I'm tired of listening to the bees buzz. Young man does push ups, says, I've got this floor.

MS Artist of the Month

Some of the things I've done this year

Some of the things I've done this year: got my brief testimony in with Amy and hopefully many other T.I.'s and it was sent into Congress. Got Chuck Schumer on Messenger. I did an ad campaign on Facebook, spent about a hundred bucks, and generated thousands of hits, and hundreds to my blog. I kept sending messages to my reps about our issues, and many other issues. I voted. I blogged and did some writing. I took my son to several fun events. Phil and I saw The Mummies in concert. Recently I've bought for the Giving Tree. We grew vegetables in pots. I took the dog many times to the dog park, and the walk on the trails. We went camping, and fishing. I did some temp jobs. This month I will be doing some volunteering.

Tennis shoes (second in the series)

Tennis shoes And the walk for miles with no destination rolling on the ball of the foot knocking down invisible pins or a black high top that makes the court squeak to be an athlete or a cashier or a nurse each step on a comfort zone made to last through any half shaped day until its finished to be a runner and know there's no fail.

so true...

About Phil

Phil only weighs 124 pounds! She noticed two very small spots on his lungs, but wants him to come back in 3 months to do another scan. She gave him a script for Chantix, but his insurance doesn't cover it, so he didn't get it. She is referring him to a cardiologist for his heart issues. So, we'll see what they say.

Work boots (first in the series)

Work boots Broken in like a tan horse the strings are laced to be a bunker for the ankle tread that stops on dust or mud making the surface cordial and careful crinkles in them creased from long days steel toes that take a beating to drive away the cold the feet are solid in the fit loosening the flaps when they come off like a heavy thought from the head set aside together and upright the quality of craft set waiting.

What I'm hearing on NPR

So Trump's former lawyer is saying he lied to Congress to protect Trump, why is the truth so hard for these people? Trump says he's never had any business dealings with Russia, I guess to him that doesn't include real estate, the whole way that Jared and Ivanka got their money. And how the whole family gets away with not paying taxes is probably a bigger issue than this whole Russia probe.

Brain storming

I'm going to start a poetry series about shoes:  (work boots, tennis shoes, flip flops, high heels, and fashion boots) I'm going to write a short story about living in low income apartments. I'm going to write a slam poem about beer. I'm going to write an all silent play about couples playing cards for money, two teenagers having sex on side stage, a man coming in and stealing something, front stage outside a woman killing a man with a gun, priest on side stage drinking from a bottle of wine, and how does all the immorality end>?  you'll have to see.

Writing (an essay)

When you read a book of short stories, you get the raw energy of someone else's writing, inspiring you to do just the same, and some stick with you like a dream that you just can't shake.  Before I started writing plays, I read a lot of them sometimes in the car while waiting for my kids.  Then I went out and saw plays produced on stage.  I had no idea I'd try it myself, after years of doing poems, and then short stories.  Not all of them are comedies, but many are, and I sense a strong, good response to them.  I pride myself in originality. When I've been in my most productive periods, writing was an every day thing in which I just told myself, sit down and do it, almost auto pilot like any other job.  No targeting or medication has stopped me from producing all the works I have.  It's like any other exercise program, you exercise the mind, and you trust that it will turn out, even if, while writing it, you don't know how it's going to turn out, that&

November 29th (a poem)

November 29th The sky is undrawn white unrolled in schools with tests of coming up with the sun bright and correct after storms the sky is a king sized bed sheet for those who went the distance long poles reaching out for space and wired to shake off sleep the sky is the back of a poster hanging on the white wall pressing a ghost against the season straight through like stuffing a hole the sky is foam and froth that spilled all over without a drip in a tall cup of hours the morning is beginning as a sail hoisted and ready.

About head pain/EM weapons

our minds might be able to turn this off, more specifically, making the decision that you've had enough and doing sort Cognitive Behavorial Therapy with yourself, changing your thoughts away from the pain, not accepting, and using the mind to switch. When I went through the worst, it was days on end, and it ended when I said, No more, I was able to come out of it. If you can't do it, try conversations in person with someone close to you, not about this, but about anything other, and get involved in how to respond, the mind will be shifted into something else.

Is that the going rate?

We had to pay a guy 75 bucks to do our driveway and sidewalk and I even cleared the front walk out of the house but Phil's got a heart condition, and I'm not in great shape, have sciatica. We had leaves, and yes it's long driveway and walk. He took us, I think.

The Devil's Son (today's poem)

The Devil's Son He grew up playing in the dirt trying to get back to any other home calling out the good kids as dandy in a world of creatures with red eyes as he grew his fingers became so long he could touch the farthest gone soul  or hold up a criminal with ease as an offering to his father his best friend the fire in his belly was a universal truth of his own hunger waiting for dead meat or trapping any passerby with his jagged vibe he became a man and sought out dominion fighting against perfect days with his own storm the anger took him to the edge with birds swarming around his head making him dizzy nearly falling only a strong wind in his face pushed him back he wore a cape that kept his cold shoulders in and roamed the earth seeking those certain friends that would literally bow to him as their only servant when he died he left people wondering if he was more human than they thought back into the ground where folklore has it

It's not easy being a white female writer

I look at who wins the awards and its every different race and ethnicity they want total diversity, we’re talking 10 to 50 thousand dollar awards and some of these people are so young what I couldn’t do with that kind of money I’ve got friends and teachers who could nominate me but they never have, I’m not trying to racist here but it certainly helps if your’e black. It hasn’t stopped me from writing and my works are all over Google Plus and Twitter at least I have a following, but this is all I can do and I want to see the money one day.

a few silly jokes

why did the plumber walk out the bar quickly? He didn’t want to get his pipes cleaned. The clock on the wall says 1 o’clock and the man says, Am I the only one down? Teenage girl wears heavy long dangling earrings and teenage boy says I bet you can’t weight.

Alright, let's get back to work (a poem)

I almost lost an internal organ like losing a best friend from my birthday party it was told it had to go for acting all bad and everything it was told it would be yanked from me like a bloody truth it was told it was a pain to keep it draped over this house of bones but wait, it was a false alarm, just an upper G.I. drift floating down the river so imagine how shocked everyone was when the internal organ kicked against authority and got its way all way through a lifetime ready to do what it should to please the crowd inside.

It's a fucking joke

schizophrenia.com  does frequent suspensions, you might be set up with harsh criticism, then respond, and then take the fall. The site is full of people who can't handle a strong willed woman, because every other one is too motivated to either leave you out, or solve problems with something the mods side with, all you against everyone, and such terrible insight into what would be a just cause for eliminating someone, all creation of what would be an easy fix, and not allowing  it, but instead making you feel that you are the one on the offense. The judgment of the schizophrenic mods means that the days spent on there are scorned and remiss with endless defense toward themselves, while the outspoken are given over to their supposed rules for a site that won't make any waves except to condemn and be given toward lasting authority. It's a total disgrace to even frequent there, and it does nothing toward good, or well meaning posters.

RH negative

my mother will go to her grave convinced that no RH negative caused schizophrenia. She lived a hard life with scoliosis and steel rod in her spine, I try to leave it alone. that time was very hard on all of us, she had screws in her head, and had to learn to walk all over again.  Was in a body cast for over 6 months. I was 4.

Fighting hard not to get a few beers right now

r adults) they get food stamps, and an Obama phone. Yeah, everybody wants free stuff. Housing just goes to social security and sees every dime you have made, they all work together (not true, they're all separate, you gotta report income on each)" We've been fighting since he got home, that is, he is. I thought by him being with a disabled woman with two disabled kids, he'd have more compassion than that.

Phil doesn't believe me about this

When I was at the Catholic school they did health screenings on us kids we went into a room with a large metal table stripped down to our underwear and they examined our torsos including the stickies to test our heart I think I was in 5th grade, maybe 4th and I’m pretty sure I had no boobies yet I remember it well because it was so shocking Phil says it was a dream no it wasn’t, honest to God truth can you imagine that happening today

therapy is dumb

All I did was sat there and talked and she took notes, why I do not know, there was never any assessment, advice, nothing.  Once I went in and just sat there, didn't talk, just stared at her, thinking maybe she had time to review those notes, and had something to say.  We sat in silence for 10 minutes, until she finally asked what I wanted to talk about.  I could have done this is front of my own mirror.  So I guess I did, I started talking, and she asked questions just to chime in, one time she did say something, she said, Let the pain wash over you like water.  Interesting cuz water is the only thing that helps, though temporarily.  That's the only advice she ever gave me.  And all those notes, probably thrown away.  Waste of time, money, and effort.

I'm pretty amazing aren't I?

everything I've done. Single mom with paranoid schizophrenia raising a child with Down syndrome, and a child with cystic fibrosis. Not only raising them, but raising them with my entire being. All of my writing, blogging, volunteering, races, dancing, working. I'm not sure anyone else could have done it.

Yep, it's official

They're starting Christmas before Halloween. I've got two Christmas catalogs in the last couple of days. Thought it was bad enough starting Christmas before Thanksgiving. It's all about more money.

We're thinking that AA will be a novelty, but substance abuse will be handled by psychiatry. The non alcohol pills are really helping, I take 6 a day, and I'm on day 5. Yesterday Phil asked me to go in there and get him another tall boy. I said abosolutely not, Phil, I'm getting used to going in there and not headed straight for the cooler. Then he said, How about some wine, you don't have to drink beer. No way, Phil. It's not going to be easy with him. I also think my psych meds are working better and that will help too if it truly is a chemical thing.

My thoughts on these numbers everybody has been throwing around

there's not millions in the program, nor is there thousands, there's hundreds. We're numbers, person under surveillance number 325. It's highly unlikely even with the most advanced tech, that they could be seeing through each person's eyes, data and telephone surveillance, and mapping their brains, and hitting them with weapons if it was more than hundreds. How could they keep track, single out, and hone in on such a large number? If they're testing us, they need results, and how would that be possible if it were millions? If you think most T.I. are mainly getting gang stalking, that's because the people claiming gang stalking have taken over the T.I. brand.  Actually it has nothing to do with it.  It's Monarch mind control of Suspect targets on blacklists who are placed under surveillance, electronically tortured, and sexually attacked.

Lies and Unethical

Supposedly the economy is doing so well, why because the wealthy who got the tax cuts are doing more spending, while the rest of us see prices rising. China goods are going to skyrocket, and it's already hurting farmers. Reckless Repubs cut Medicaid, all to give big tax cuts to their donors, the wealthy, and corporate greed. Mental health services suck, the schools are suffering, and the VA turns away a suicidal vet. He's dead. Grassley and Ernst, total lip service to my outrage, Trump even cut funding to the VA, all he cares about is us standing up during the anthemn.. Vote Blue!