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Phil doesn't believe me about this

When I was at the Catholic school

they did health screenings on us kids

we went into a room with a large metal table

stripped down to our underwear

and they examined our torsos

including the stickies to test our heart

I think I was in 5th grade, maybe 4th

and I’m pretty sure I had no boobies yet

I remember it well because it was so shocking

Phil says it was a dream

no it wasn’t, honest to God truth

can you imagine that happening today

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