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The Roads We Take (a brief story about Randall Jarrel, by Sheri)


The Roads We Take
by Sheri Grutz

Randall took his time with his students, worked over each poem like a mathematical equation, adding something, taking something away, the words themselves could have been numbers that reach a highest proportion of value. The leaves had long since fallen, and the look outside from the single window was overcast and cold, making him think of his old days playing high school football. Soon there would be snow, and a long period of darkness, something Tom wrote about, how did he say it, Darkness dares to be pink before yellow.

Nancy had long commutes to her job, and always took the interstate, but she wished there was rail to get her there, something they had been talking about for years, but the funding never came through. She worked as an educational instructor for new and returning teachers, products and methods they weren't taught in college, all new, and innovative. She loved her job, and was a great public speaker. She was starting to think about moving to this college town, but her kids were still in high school, and it wouldn't be fair.

Randall wore his generation like a badge of courage, many issues facing them were equal rights, civil rights, war, and drugs. He had been pushlished in several anthologies which told him he may have finally come into his own. The teaching though, that was something he loved, but it took away something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. There had been days like this he was starting to notice, where he felt a deep pit of despair inside, a real holding back from his bright mind. He knew he should swear off liquor, but he used it mainly to sleep at night.

On that late fall day, Randall walked home and read a few letters coming in from friends or family members who had lost someone in the war. He was beside himself to be known as a peaceful, deep thinking poet with nothing to offer but condolenses. Randall turned on classical music, made an early tottie, and fixed a light meal on the range. It was starting to get dark. Some kind of ghost seized him then, it took him by the shoulders, and led him on a long, precarious walk around town. He walked and he walked. He walked until he got out to the edge of town, kept going out near the interstate, and did not pause, the ghost holding up his head and shoulders like a sack of grain, walked right through the ditch, onto the interstate and was instantly struck by Nancy's car.

Nancy had been coming home from work, and she screamed loud, and then slammed on the brakes, but not in time, Randall flew straight over the top of her car, and rolled and skidding across the pavement and onto the shoulder of the road. She pulled over immediately and put her hazards on, and walked several yards back to see who or what she hit. His body was gnarled, and face punctured and bloody, he was dead.

Nancy flagged down a semi, and he pulled over right in front of her car. He got out and walked up to where Nancy and the body were. “Did you have an accident?” he asked her. “No,” she was crying, “this man....this man right here, he walked out in front of my car.” “Oh, suicide, then.” he told her. “But tell me I haven't killed a homeless man,” she begged him. The man rummaged around the dead body, and couldn't believe the wallet was still intact. He opened it and saw the dead man's name, then said to her, “No. You've killed a poet.”



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