The Purse (an all silent sketch)

The Purse

by Sheri Grutz

The Purse (an all silent sketch)

Lights up on stage with a background of a small broken down apartment, with an easel in the side right with paper on it, a door in the back, and man standing there dressed in white. He jumps up, throws his hands up in the air, and then goes out the door. He enters from stage Left, and people are walking with him and toward him on Center stage. He sees a woman with a large purse, and runs up to her and snatches it, and she shakes her head, then continues to walk with a lift in her step off stage.

The man comes in through door in the back, and he opens the purse, and there's another purse inside, so he discards the outer purse, then continues opening up the next purse, only to find another purse, and another and another, til all the purses are lying on the stage floor. The final purse he opens, he jumps it out, and there is one black Sharpie inside. He jumps up, and runs to the easel. He draws a piggy bank on the sheet of paper, jumps up again, and runs out the back door.

He enters from stage Left along other people walking down the street, and he spots the same woman with the purse, but this time she's carrying a piggy bank. He runs up to her, and snatches it out of her hands, then runs off stage Left where he came from. She shakes her head, and walks off with a lift in her step off stage. The young man enters again through the back door. He makes dramatic effort to find money in the piggy bank, but it's empty.

He jumps up and runs to the easel again, and this time he draws images of money, jumps again, and exits out the back door. He enters again from Left stage walking with several others down the street, spots the same woman again, and she's counting money while walking. He runs up to her and grabs the money, then runs back out stage Left. He comes in through the back door, but dramatically realizes it's Monopoly money and worth nothing.

He goes to the easel and this time he draws a check and writes it out for one million dollars. He jumps up and runs out the back door, again from stage Left, he enters with walking other people. He spots the same woman and she is carrying a big Lotto cardboard check written out in her name for a million dollars. This time the young man snatches the woman, and drags her off stage Left, no one else is noticing.

Enter through door, the young man, and the young woman with the cardboard check. He pushes her inside, and starts pointing to the purses, the piggy bank, the monopoly money, and then the cardboard check, dramatically and with anger. The woman goes to the easel and crosses out all of his images, then draws an image of the Sharpie, then she points several times to her temple. Then she walks out the back door. Pause.

The young man sits down at the easel, with its back to the audience, and he pretends to draw an elaborate picture this time, something that has already been done, and ready to go. He turns it around, and it's a picture of a gleaming smile, with the caption: Million Dollar Smile. The man goes to his phone and takes a selfie of him smiling big, then jumps up, and runs out the back door.

Lights out. The end.