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I don't think I cost the state too much money, my meds are about 100 to 200 bucks, with a 5 dollar a piece co pay, and I take about 5 of them. The biggest cost will continue to be substance issues, and getting cared for. I'm really looking for a good retreat center, but even public aid, you can't find a bed.

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I'm more rational today

 just a combination of many things, social media, no free speech, after all the time I've spent, Phil's diagnosis, my fight for justice inching on 30 years of fighting, and seeing no light at the end of tunnel, thinking I'm doing it all myself, and can't get a simple reply of encouragement. plus I do everything to access, and getting burnt out so often, they made fun of me about that too, when so many people are like me.  you think you got me figured out, think again! I've decided to stay on my blog, and keep Messenger, and the internet, but no social media posts anymore, but I haven't deleted any account.