grutzworks3

 going to try to like down. good night.

can never, ever, give me undivided attention.  is there blame, Sheri.  yeah. 

 

 and I've written tons about our issues. the fucking T.I. community, wth!

 well, remember me for my good years.  you bet!

 you could say that.

 it's all too entwined. are there people that know this, Sheri? it's possible to live with it.  and I have.  very well.

 ha, yes.

 they say it's gonna start next year. Well, why not right now??

 it could be seen as an adventure, but rarely is it. I needed him to drive so I told hold and pet Deoge, she does not like a car ride. First he's happy to have a lisence, and now, well, now. idk, Phil, I think you forget that I have a Daddy. my dad told me last night he wants to kick his ass. If I wasn't such a poet, I'd probably do it myself.

 Your man, Sheri.  he's in his element when he's going against you on everything you say. Sanchos of Davenport, Iowa is worse than Rudy's Tacos.  I just wasted 23 bucks, Phil, and all your bitching.  Did you scream, Sheri, And you get Free Sex!  ha, yeah I did.  would have done well in Hollywood, not so well in these Davenport, Iowa whatever.

 well, Jim Lehrer tried to say, Yes, the poor can be watched. idk what the fucking hell, Phil, but I'm sick of finding out.  you know?

 "you're totally out there."  no, Phil, the system reacts.

  no you don't Michael. they have two-way access to me, not even life and things, but in the mind.

 Progressive Insurance

 Progressive Insurance commercial:  "Did you make the vet appointment yet?  You are a mess." Sheri.  Sheri?  no, not even gonna go there.

 now I'm limping again.  geez.  I maybe should have had an X-ray.  it's talking to me, even sitting down.  I'm getting older, and I don't heal quickly.  a life of trying alleve pain.  what a broken record.  ugh.

 Clinton, Iowa psych services:  5 Davenport, Iowa psych services:  5 Iowa City, Iowa psych services:  5 ER services in Davenport, Iowa:  2 ER services in DeWitt, Iowa:  7 ER services in Iowa City, Iowa:  5 therapy in Clinton, Iowa:  1 therapy in Davenport, Iowa:  3 dance in Iowa City, Iowa:  9 writing in Iowa City, Iowa:  5 writing in Rock Island, Illinois:  6 cost of living in DeWitt, Iowa: 3 non-profits of the Quad Cities:  3 Ho  meless shelters of Clinton, Iowa: 2 churches in DeWitt, Iowa:  1 churches in Clinton, Iowa:  3 adult programs in DeWitt, Iowa:  1 quality of life in the Quad Cities:  7 driving in Davenport, Iowa:  6 driving in DeWitt, Iowa:  4 car dealers in DeWitt, Iowa:  2 banks in DeWitt, Iowa:  3 good teachers in DeWitt, Iowa:  3 cops in DeWitt, Iowa:  6 cops in Davenport, Iowa: 3 jobs in Davenport, Iowa:  8 jobs in DeWitt, Iowa:  1 libraries ...

 they may have had mental illness.  Phil is still being Martha, and I'm still being Mary. he's say, no excuse, Sheri.  it's never been about effort, Phil.  should read my Pillars play.  ha.

 it wasn't their fault, it was all scabbed over, and they didn't want to hurt me. not today.  Our young Missionary guys are coming.  not tomorrow either, Deoge getting grooming.  takes 3 hours.

 the tests never measured anything.  they considered you slow.  idk, one time I saw Gerald Ford walk into our church, and told my mom.  spitting image.

 everybody needs to go back to doing drug screening professionally in a lab, and not in the office. Like I'd be doing ampheamines or PCP.  you gotta be kidding me. and nobody wants to believe the schizo.  in the labs, I've never in my whole life failed a drug screen.

 I don't fucking care, Phil!!

 yeah, it's something, isn't it?  privacy.

 from what I've seen Contractors are working all hours of the day. I guess when we pay you well, you'll start?

 Employer calls me and says Amphitamines are in my drug test. I did pot occasionally, 2 months, when I was 18.  nothing ever since.  nothing! it's just recently, cuz I've been on psych meds since I was 27, and never anything. Now the big runaround, we can't hire you until you're cleared of this. How many beers you got in the fridge, Sheri?  they don't even believe me, trained to, that I've never done drugs.  I don't even know the first thing about 'em.

 don't you remember the box air condioner in the living room, when we slept out there?? it wasn't til July, Beth.

 I am making my super duper cold salad today for the Missionary guys tomorrow. I might hang clothes out.  it's always been, Do cartwheels, Sheri.  from everybody.

 woman waiting in the crosswalk pushing her disabled adult daughter. Light turns, and she goes to cross, and he pulls out to turn, right in front of them, didn't even wait! this would never happen in Iowa City.  pedestrians always have the right of way. Don't mess with a guy in a pick-up, likely has never known real life!

"What do you mean, what are you talking about?" just that.

 he did a lot on location last week.  or other reasons that I'm not buzzed enough yet to put out there.

 it'll stay cool in here. gonna hit over 80 today. if Phil would just stop running that fucking space heater.

I can't remember, but I think I was run off. and who can forget, when my keyboard was compromised.  geez. my goodness, Sheri, you have taken a lot of heat.  worth it. 

 a friend of mine got a message from them "We limit the amount of posts, comments, shares or Likes you give on FB." absolutely in cohoots with all this gov targeting.

 no dry heaves this morning.  stomach feels okay, but wish it would help my other mind upstairs, I don't even want to recall this dream I had before waking up. idk, I'm not ruling out dream manipulation, but it was like my cruel voices.

 not sure about Illinois though.

  Thank You For Your Interest You have completed the online application. Based on the criteria for the position, the most qualified candidates will be contacted directly by our company. Thank you for your interest in our company.

likely all that was vulgar, and racism. I don't take too much heed. Civil War was rape and pillage. My grandfather, though, you know, this, he never would have fought like I do.

"The way she comes across, I mean." well, yes I did write all these, those, and them.

just couldn't handle it anymore. when's daybreak again?

they're fucked up idiots, Sheri, they're all criminals, and saying shit about you?? come on!!

it's electromagnetic war that wasn't protected in this country. I was nearly killed, no other war could have done this.

I turned ours off this morning. Should be good to go. Phil can use his space heater I got him.

yeah.

I don't need you, and I don't want you! got it? the past is gone. I love Phil.

are not getting the full blown Suspect Target, Surveillance Issues. look at the drivel they talk about.

they tried getting paid off of it, when I tuned in, caught in my surveillance, but FISA changed the rules. They'd say their call letters and frequency into my ear when I called in.

I'm backing out real slow out of the driveway, down to the landing, and some other bitch comes barreling around, around me, like she wouldn't stop or something, almost hit her. I think it's a vistor of the neighbors across the way. I went over there afterward, and rang the doorbell, then knocked, nobody answered. Sheri? Sheri. this is typical no respect! it's all based on hatred.

does not say to the world, schizophrenia.

probably won't go back to that one, but I really liked it. any little bit is something. Phil says save it for a rainy day. I guess. We gotta spend on Deoge though.

I read the book, Bridges of Madison County, and saw the movie.

it's probably why they consider me a basic schizophrenic.

I don't know, I just wanted to dance, was it a crime?

But they won't.

yeah.

what did you do abs to, Sheri? "Please stick to the rivers and the lakes you are used to." Never forget, your daughter was listening. yep.

are you gonna tune in Sheri, and see more about your? ohhh fuck no. please put a gun to head before I do.

what in the fuck are you trying to say, you live all this life, and don't believe??

getting a woman and collecting more junk. but you only saw the coffee table, the CD's and books to send you a message. yeah, somebody should have done something.

problem is I can't make out one single word. got a little drawing though.

the adults doing the adult things, and kids doing their things. It got late, and I crashed. and my dad carrying me to the car. yeah. where was Ronnie? no idea.

in the talk this morning with a gym owner on the radio they both said other people in the gym motivate you to work harder. I have never felt that way in all my years working out.

I think the clincher was when the chief of police said it's just not something we do as officers, at least I thought it was the chief of police, but I only saw bits and pieces of that trial, I remember that part though. Phil says he wouldn't nark out his own officer, but yes he did.

yeah, I turn the station every time.

idk, got one guy professing love, another making turn of the tiems.

okay, Phil. can't your just transport. ha.

idk.

I've worked since I met you, some, a little bit, all extra cash on top of a disability check. what you wanna see, what I wanna see, idk, feasability.

ahhh, from what I've seen, no.

in 2003, and all those rides we were on. He thrived off the whole vacation. and came home permantently with it. the only time I've gotten a paid vacation.

my videos are when I'm writhing in pain! huh?

yeah. a lot of my writing has two thoughts or images going on and wrapping them at the end. well, I should say, my poems. I'm glad he got that.

I told him I'm sick of telling this to everyone, and he asked me if the story was changing as I went along. ha, yeah, kinda. God, I love him.

my friend Jim said, but Vonnegut, he DID win. Right, and it really bothers me when they achieve success and then turn around and say it doesn't matter. also, what the quote tells me, about not needing to good at what you do, makes me think, mediocrity. well, Jason gave me all the reasons why Social Democracy is better, and I did support Bernie, but not on everything he said. I've been saying for years that Capitalism is the best place to be an artist. Mainly because of ideas.

Snoopy had puppies at 6 months old, Ronnie.

cleaning nights, hopefully in Eldridge. she said to wait til a doctor clears me. I'd be back in my groove. Said there's plenty of positions, and they'll wait on me. I'd love to give up the sauce again, go back to ice cream after work. yep. we'll see.

it doesn't fit with pics of my kids, and my paintings. he always wanted to feel at home, Sheri.

it's always been up to my mother.

I guess. I'm torn between fame. Sometimes I've tried to make someone and up and coming great artist, famous, just thru me being there. I would hope we're still looking for excellence. drive.

I just never seem to run out of things to say. hmmm. I guess it keeps me going.

yeah.